Throwing it all away

I found this article about this old money socialite who decided to become a nun.


It seems unbelieveable what she is doing.

Sister Mary Joseph sleeps on a wooden plank covered by a thin mattress in a cell. She wears lisle stockings, Birkenstock sandals (discalced means barefoot or sandal-wearing), a coarse brown habit. The sisters don't eat meat, (though they do supplement their diet with the salmon and shrimp Sister Mary Joseph flies in from Swan Oyster Depot twice a year).

I am rich. I can pretty much buy and do what I want. My friends joke that we are retired. But its kind of weird. I understand where this woman is coming from. I mean when you have everything what else is there to do? What's the point of doing anything at all when you have it all.

Soem times I see these Jewish Orthodox women wearing their long skirts and their wrapped hair. I get a little curious. I wonder how it is to be part of something that is bigger than you. To belong to something where your spiritual identity is what matters the most. Am I being silly?

Cockblocker

Saturday I played cockblocker for VD. This club promoter that VD works with now and then has been hounding her to hang out with her, maybe do some dancing. But its obvious that all he wants is a dance in the sheets. VD's F buddy had to cancel at the last minute since he was being sent off to Ireland for a week by his company.

VD told the CP (club promoter) that I would be tagging along which I didn't want to since the weather has been really horrible and all I wanted to do was stay in my apartment. VD told me it would be a great way to make a contact. I said what contact? The only contact this guy wants is sex and that's with you. I really didn't want to go but I went anyway since its part of the job description.

We put together a strategy that would take up the most time with the least amount of talking. So we banked on a movie and a dinner in that order.

This is how the strategy works. You go meet with a guy at the movie theatre perferably a late show but not too late. You get there at least 5 minutes before showtime where you have a seinfeld chat while you are waiting for the previews. The movie starts and for at least two hours you both engage in an activity where you do not speak to each other. Afterwards you head of to a diner or someplace cheap where you eat and discuss the movie. After the dinner is done he pays the bill and you part ways.

The great thing about this strategy is that it is on a schedule of its own so there are expectations of when it will end. Using the movie allows very little conversation. My sister taught me this in high school and it works wonders.

NEVER EVER GO TO A BAR OR CLUB AFTER THE MOVIE! It totally ruins the vibe. When heavy amounts of alcohol are involved the situation changes and then the guy's expectations for the night increases.

We ended up seeing this insane Thai movie called Ong Bak in Union square. It was about a guy who has to get the a head of a statue that was stolen from his village. It was not Shakespeare in Love. The fights were out of control in the movie. Before the movie started CP was going on about how the actor could really walk on people's shoulders and that it took two years to make this film because people kept getting injured. One scene that I thought was really cool was when he was being chased. I noticed something weird though. I thought I saw Speilberg's name written on one of the walls while the actor was doing his stunts on the street.

After the movie we ended up getting India food and had a discussion on Thailand and spiritualism. When the check came, VD and I pulled out saying we had an early morning and we left.

Simple but it works.

Why I don't go to Webster Hall

VD sent me this article on Gothamist about Webster Hall.

It was on the verge of collapsing but now its safe.

Yoo Hoo Spring!

Why is it so goddamn cold? Why is it still snowing? I still haven't heard from my interview. Part of me doesn't want to get this job so I can avoid getting on the train dealing with this weather.

Dad was really happy that I went to the interview. He said it was the first step to my future. I am not sure what that means. Its just an interview. I haven't gotten the job.

I am happy that things are getting better between us. He's not yelling at me as much and I don't fight him when he suggests something I don't like doing. I just do it so I don't make waves. I am just tired of fighting.

He tells me to take my time looking for a place to buy. He feels that there is not alot out there and things are crazy with the way the market is. Dad thinks its a bubble that will pop by next year. The people who will be in trouble are the ones with mortgages but since I am all cash I shouldn't be affected since I am not going to have a mortgage.

Interviews suck

Last Wednesday's interview was an absolute mess. I met up with VD for breakfast over at Veselka in the East Village because she was going to be meeting a club promoter who wanted to do an event. After breakfast it was at around 10 to 10 and my interview was at 10:30. The plan was to take Astor Place to Union square take the express, transfer over to the 7 go to Bryant park and take the F train over to Rock center my interview.

I didn't even get on the train. The 4,5,6 were all shut down because of a signal problem. No need to panic. So I decided to catch a cab. What cab? Everyone else is thinking like I am jumping into anything that looks yellow.

I run my ass off over to the F train by 14th street. I thinking maybe I should take a bus but I don't know where they are.

After my commute from hell I arrive at the office sweaty and disgusting but I am five minutes early. The receptionist takes my name, I ask for the bathroom and told to go down the hallway. I touch up my makeup and look straight into a mirror. I breathe in and out calming my center. Than I walk out. I notice the there is a different receptionist who looks like she just ate the first receptionist. I take my seat and wait. That was a really big mistake.

At around 10:35 I get a little concerned. I want to say something but the receptionist is on the phone but it definitely isn't a business conversation. She is playing with her cornrows while talking about getting her friends to join weight watchers but one friend prefers to eat a couple of slabs of ex lax to lose weight. The receptionist could actually lose a couple of tons, which I am sure she’ll get rid she craps out the first receptionist she ate.

10:40 and I am getting really nervous, did the interviewer forget? What do I do? What if they are in a meeting? I am unsure what to do when my cell phone goes off and it’s the interviewer asking me where I am. I tell her I am in the waiting room. A second later the interviewer pops out dressed in the brooks brothers women's line. She has dark curly and sharp look on her face. Reminds of that woman in Florida during the election mess. What’s he rnaem? Katherine Henry? Harris?

There is a huge crossfire between all of us. I tell the interviewer what time I got there and that I went to the bathroom and when I got back the fat receptionist was there.(I didn't say she was fat she was fat in front of her face.)Fat receptionist tells us that she didn't know about me that the other receptionist called her to grab a smoke and never let her know who I was and what I was doing here and that I never said anything which really got me annoyed because its not my job to tell her who I am if I already told the other receptionist. Fat receptionist should already know. And I was like I thought you knew who I was?

The interviewer is beyond P'Oed who calls the other receptionist who comes in and claims to have told the other receptionist that I had an appointment and to call the interviewer. The two receptionists start to get into a huge argument the interviewer tells them to shut up and takes me inside to another room.

When we sit down in her office everything is calm but I can see the tension on her face. She asks for my resume, which I hand over to her and she studies it very closely. Than she looks at me with this strong angry look like I did something wrong and I am in the principal’s office. Her eyes boring through me as if I am not sand blowing in the wind. We are started talking about college. It turns out that the interviewer is straight from Albany. Here parents are professors there and she went to SUNY Albany for college and then went there to law school. And she commuted to school even for law school. It was because it was free. She asked if I knew anything about real estate law. I said no and she made a comment that it was interesting that my father was one of the top lawyers yet I know nothing about the law. I was about to say it was interesting that she lived in Albany all her life and knew nothing about trailer parks. But I hold back.

The rest of the interview was me explaining why I had no job experience and what I could offer the position. She responded by saying that your offerings seem limited which is lawyer talk for you have nothing. I was like what the hell? Then I figured out what was going on. She wasn’t pissed at me being late she was pissed because of me. To her I was a just a rich girl trying to do something on the side while she had go to a state university because it was free and it was cheaper than sending her to a private college.

The interview ended with her saying thank you for coming and we will be in touch. As I walked out the fat receptionist gave me the look of death. I puffed up my cheeks like a balloon and stared right back at her.

I know now why people stayed unemployed because it is such a pain the ass to get a job.

More changes

I had to fire the designer after I read one of the comments. Apparently the maxi pad design was something you can get for free. The IT guy I was using completely lied to me and saying that he spent three days designing it for me. I found this this design on blogger. I have no idea what I am doing but it will do.

This is what sucks when people know you have money. Especially if you are girl. They think you are stupid and that they can take advantage of you. Daddy deals with alot of cases where people are trying to rip them off.

I am a little edgy, didn't stay out too late last night. Just grabbed some dinner with the claque at k-town and went home. I have tried not to think about it but I am still pissed about last Wednesday. I mean so many thing were out of my control. But I am not in the mood to talk about. Its like your so upset about something that its even painful to talk about it. But it just stirs inside bubbling and boiling. You hope that it just leaves on its own.

Making breakfast.

I need a green beer

Neighbors upstairs were fighting last night. Woke me up at three and haven't been able to sleep. I tried writing about what happened today. But it was so insane. Spent most of the night channel surfing. Better than the great masturbator.

Countdown

I am watching Crazy Beautiful on TBS. I am imagining myself as an unstable Kirsten Dunst soaking up the California rays in my tank top and hip hugger pants and getting naked with my Mexican hottie in my bedroom.

My reality is that I am going putting together an interview outfit and trying to get my story straight. I was supposed to go shopping but I ended surfing the web looking at outfits then called my sister. She was a little annoyed with me. Telling me I should take this interview more seriously and that putting together the right outfit was not the biggest deal. I was like yeah yeah yeah. She told me to call her after the interview was over.

I am a little freaked but I know as long as I show up and make a good impression the job is mine for obvious reasons.

I am not ready for this

Its almost 10:30 am and I have an interview tomorrow. My Dad just called me and told me that a friend of his has a job opening for me. Its one of those I know somone's sister's who's best friend's thrid cousin's husband's father needs somone to help out at the office.

Its this lawyer who is fresh out of law school and is opening up his own firm that specializes in something complicated. I think his name is Kyle. Anyways they need a paralegal and Dad threw my name in the hat. I have nothing to wear for this interview. I have to go and buy an entirely new outfit. Ohmigod I need to get my hair done too. I can't believe he did this to me.

So what do you think?

Well what's the verdict? It cost me 200 bucks but I like the new look. It shows my the inner peace that I am looking for. More changes are coming in the near future.

Powrrgirls rules

I am eating soylicios tofu ice cream called cookie avalanche which is an aborted fetus of cookies and cream. God I wish I could have my Hagen Daz. But I have lost three pounds so far so I have to keep this up.


VD and I are watching powergirls on MTV. Its awesome. VD is having a screaming fit everytime the flacks f**k up since that's her game. Kelley is serioulsy giving her a neg. VD hates girls like that. The get a TOP (T*T Operation) and all of sudden just because their shirts fit better they can go do what they want. Kelley was going on how she is bitching and moaning while Rachel is doing all the work for Ruby Falls.

The way the flack reacted to JaRule was completely messed up. Instead of standing their in your cheap aviator glasses storking your hair weaves you should be getting stuff to sign and you have called the label to make sure there were pictures to sign.

While we were watching VD was throwing me inside tricks of how club openings work. When it comes to the guest list they always, always send out more invitations then they can handle. Its all about the numbers. The more people you have the more buzz you get. The more people you have outside waiting the better the opening it is because since it creates as VD puts it the Rubberneck effect. People passing by want to know why there is a huge crowd so they slow down or stop to take a look.

The worst way to get a flack's attention is to say you work for a company that does Jlo 's lingerie. First of all the flack is too busy to care who you work for. You are either on the list or not and unless you are a name or you are somone the flack knows personally. So if you were one of the worker bees who work in the business its best to come early.

I was kind of p**ed the way they treated Lindsay but VD said that Lizze was right in putting in that item in page 6. Its all part of the game. When celebrities show up at these events they know they are going to be photographed. In exchange they get free publicity, drinks and ass kissing for themselves and their posse. When you bypass the red carpet and cover your face with a jacket you are going to piss off alot of people.

Going to see some jellow wrestling.

The Great Masturbator goes too far

Just got in from some light barhopping and I found a letter from the management. It states that a resident has been complaining about the noise from my apartment and is requesting that I "comply with building policy and maintain a suitable level of quiet".

Ok. What f**king policy are they talking about? I hate being blamed for s**t I didn't do. I should call the management company and complain about how I hear him screaming because his hands are bleeding.

Almost broke down

I am not the biggest fan of the upper eastside. I have some bad memories when I was ten involving a playdate from a girl from hebrew school. I visited her at her home which was this apartment filled lots of old stuff. I think her parents were professors. There was this one room in her apartment that smelled like piss. When I asked her about it she told me her grandmother used to live in the bedroom and her parents had just placed her in a nursing home. Maybe they wanted to protect the grandmother from her because a week later at Hebrew School she ended up pushing me down a set of stairs. I wasn't injured but I never went back to her house.

Piss and psychotic little girls was on my when I was walking into the east 80's. I was going to see this apartment I found on the web. I wasn't too crazy about the location but it was a really cute three bedroom.

So here I am walking in the 80's getting ripped apart by freezing wind when the broker calls me to cancel. The dickless wonder tells me that he just got an offer at the asking price in cash and has to take it off the market. I was so pissed. He told me it was what the owner wanted and then told me he had other places to show. I told him to f**k off for wasting my time and hung up on him.

I walked around depressed wondering if I was ever going to buy a place when I saw this place.

Never have I wanted to scarf down as many black and white cookies as possible. you probably gain ten pounds from the smell of sugar and butter alone. They had these really temping doughnuts. They looked like french cruellers with chocolate and vanilla frosting.

The woman behind the counter asked if I wanted anything. I was like, let me think about it than I walked out. I had to leave. I would have bought their chocolate cake and put my face into it.

I am trying to lose weight. Have to get rid of that roll around my waist.

I hear moaning from downstairs. The great masturbator must be at it again.

Feel the love

I was looking through the blog and realize despite the haters there are some really cool people cheering me on. I need that positivity.

This is Scarlett. She has a kick ass Lindsay Lohan site and it seems she knows everything about her. For all I know she could be her.

I have stop being so reactive to everybody. I know there are people who hate me. (Hello Ole) but I can't let that stope me from being me.

A new chapter for me so bring it haters.

Creepy moment of the year

VD burned me this CD called best bootlegs and I was singing along with Christina and the Strokes when somone knocked on my door and there was this guy outside. Our conversation went like this.

Guy: Hi

Me: Hi

Guy: Could you lower your music down?

Me: Why?

Guy: It's making it difficult to masturbate to my porn.

Me: Ewww

Guy: Thank you

Right now I am hearing loud porn sounds from below me while I try to clean my room. I am thinking of calling the doorman but I am afraid that guy will comeback.

Detox

Last night just at a pint of Hagen Daz. Strawberry cheesecake flavor. By my count I have had three this week. Half the clothes are too small for me. When I wear these really cute pair of leather pants my fat hangs over the waist. It reminds of that show Stars Without Makeup where they showed celebrities how they really looked I. They showed a picture of Christian Aguilera and it was obvious she was hitting the Cristal too many times because she had this beer belly that was poking out between her vest and pants.

VD woke me up at 8am. I wanted to shoot her. She had an emergency and needed me to go to her apartment and grab a gift basket and drop it off at cliet she is wooing. She can't do it since she is taking a shuttle to Boston. I was like fine and told her I could use the exercise since I felt really fat. VD told me that I should detox and just eat vegetables and fruit and abstain from meat and other diary products. I was like I tried that already but I kept going to the Hagen Daz. She told me my problem was that my colon was probably stopped up and should get a colonic. I told her if my ex didn't any backdoor there is no way in hell I am going to let somone shove a tube up my butt. VD swears by them and does them every couple of months when she feels bloated.

VD told me then eat lots of psyllium fiber which will clean out my system and poo better. So I am heading off to Whole Foods as soon as I take care of VD's errand.

Better Luck Tomorrow

I was hanging with VD in her apartment today. She was going crazy getting her tax stuff together and needed somone to scream at while going through her reciepts. I was going through her tivo and when I found this movie Better Luck Tomorrow. Her F Buddy was raving about that it was a ground breaking film about Chinese people and she should watch it. But that was like a month ago.

I asked her if she watched it she said no and wasn't interested in watching a movie about a bunch of nerds who get into a protractor war. I started watching it ann the first couple of minutes freaked me out. Its starts with two asian guys talking to each other about college when they hear a cell phone go off. Its not either of there's and they start looking for it and they find in a body that has been buried. I stopped because I got really scared and asked VD to watch it with me. I hate scary movies. It took me three hours to watch Scream. I kept watching in bits and pieces.

When Vd got her papers together we ordered some thai food and watched the movie.

This movie wasn't at all like I expected. I mean, there was no kung fu, no jackie chan, no one speaking in accents and was not at all like the Joy Luck Club which I love. The Joy Luck Club was just as good as Miss Saigon. Its basically about a bunch over achieving Chinese boys who go on a crime spree.

Its funny though. Back in my private school days I knew girls who were in the whole gangsta chick phase and would ditch their uniforms after school to hook up with the bad boys from uptown.

There was this one Italian girl who thought herself as real bad ass because she was born in the Bronx and had a boyfriend who dressed like a member of 50's cents crew. It turned out he went to Stuyvesant. Last time I heard she was in Florida as a nursing student and her ex-boyfriend is now a insurance broker.

The boys in the movie are quite yummy. Especially Han. He has that James Dean vibe going on. I kind of felt sorry for Steve. He had the girl and everything but still wasn't happy. Ben is really cute and funny. He reminds me of this boy from hebrew school who used to hang around me and help me cheat on tests but I would never go out with him.

The ending is f**ked up. I won't give it away but it got VD really upset and it takes alot to do that.
But for such a messed up movie there was some really funny parts like the scene where Ben gets on the basketball team.

Oscars

Oscars were amazing last night. It was wild to see Hilary Swank and Jaime Foxx win. What was cool was Clint winning and having his mother there and telling everyone she was there he won the first time. Too bad about Annette. She lost out to Hilary before even though she did an awesome job in American Beauty. I have no idea what film she was nominated for this time.

Snowing like hell. I wanted to go look at more apartments but its really nasty out there. I hate this weather. I am thinking about waiting till spring. It will be a lot warmer.