Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Catching up Part 1

I am nursing a huge hangover after a late dinner with Salad Dancer and the Crow. We have not seen each other since November and Crow sent an email for us to get together.

Since cheap eats are in vogue we decided to meet at Chipotle. Over Burrito Bols and plastic cups filled with pre made margaritas with no salt, we regaled each other with tales of the aftermath of our layoffs.

The Crow is studying for the bar. She actually went to law school but realized she did not want to be a lawyer and went into the media industry.

“It’s funny. Instead of being focused on finding my next job I was more focused on my next door neighbor.”

Salad Dancer asked.

“Why is he hot?”

“No. He’s an asshole. He moved in a couple a months ago and since January he began to play his music way f**king loud and f**king a vast array of vocally charged women. I mean, I know this is the city and noise is par for the course but it got to the point where I was getting nose bleeds from the bass music he was blasting.”

“Wow. That sucks.”

I said after swallowing a bite of burrito bol.

“Yeah. I went through the usual routes of the super , landlord. But no one was willing to help. Finally I put my law school skills to work and did some research on real estate law. I put together a letter for my landlord stating that my right to quite of enjoyment was being violated and that the noise was health hazard and I felt I was being driven out of my apartment and I threatened to go on a rent strike and call the cops. Honestly it was just a letter cobbled with legal bullshit but it apparently made a big impression because landlord himself came down and yelled at the guy.”

“That’s awesome.” Giggled Salad Dancer.

“It was fucking insanity because he would not back down. It turns out my neighbor is a finance analyst which explains why he is such a douchebag and was acting like it was 2003 and that he was flush with bonus money. I mean the guy kept challenging my landlord and told him to go ahead and call the cops.”

“So what happened” I asked.

The Crow took a dramatic pause as her face turned dead serious.

“There was a rumor that there were a bunch of tenants engaging in the distribution of certain types of pharmaceuticals. Apparently bits and pieces of the conversation were heard and they were under the false impression that douchebag analyst wanted to call the cops on them when he yelled about calling the cops. The super shows up at douchebag’s door with a message that it would be better for his health to lay low and not make waves. And since then I haven’t heard a peep from him. ”

“Whoa.” gulped Salad Dancer.


“So why didn’t they talk to you? Why didn’t the Super give you a talk?” I asked.

“Unlike douchebag analyst, I didn’t air out my grievances in public so they don’t know I was the one started this whole thing. Besides the 50 bucks I tip the super doesn’t hurt either.

We both laugh. The Crow gazed thoughtfully.

“It was funny. The first quiet night I began reflecting on that whole experience and I realize that I actually enjoyed the whole process despite the fact that I was doing law. And I began to think about why. Then it dawned onto me. I had a problem and I solved it. That was it. Somebody was being a douchebag and not only did I call him out on it I stopped him from being a douchebag to others. Then it hit me. This is why I went to law school. To stop the assholes from the world from running rampant.”

So the Crow decided to take the bar and is volunteering for a legal non profit that helps the little guy. Ideally she would like to do this fulltime but lawyer jobs are scarce right now but she feels something will turn up.


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