Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Creeped out

I got hit on by this the ugly brother of Kanye wet's clone. I was by Pookie & Sebastian in Murray Hill. He kept leering at me and He wasn't that tall or cute. I was like ewww. When I told VD what happened she was like waht do you expect? You have a really big ass. I was like I do not have a big ass. She was like why do you think that guy was staring at you? They are into that sort of thing.

I have nothing against black guys. I am among many girls who would bruise their knees for Denzel. But this guy was really digusting looking.

Friday, August 26, 2005


I got into a huge fight with 90210 girl over the cubicle light on Thursday. She kept threatening to have me fired. Looks the biatch didn't get the memo that Friday was my last day. But most of the lawyers were gone for the day and the other paralegals just sat in their cubes listening as she continued to rag on me. It got to a point where I was getting really agitated and I got up and left.

I am not doing it justice how I felt but there was this dark cloud that seem to suffocate me. When I left the office to take a walk it was gone but as I got closer to the office it came back.

90210 girl was nowhere. Someone told me in the office that she took off for the day.

I was hoping I didn't have to see her today. But we ran into each other at the copier. We bantered and then she threw a dagger at me.

"I heard your leaving. It's not because of me." She said then she shook her in pity.

I was a little shocked when she said that. I don't why I should have been.

I muttered something that it was time to go.

Then that was it. No gold watch. I said my goodbyes.

I am in the Hamptons right now. We decided to turn in early from barhopping.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Three days and counting

90210 girl is getting in her last licks. There is has been a problem with the light above her cubicle. It has been flickiering on and off. And she has been complaining about to anyone who would listne. But none of the partners care since they are either working or in the hamptons.

Anyways she finally got one of the building supers to take look and they told her that it was not the bulb but the light itslef and they would need an electrician to take a look at it. And that needs paperwork to get it done.

90210 girl tried to get trollho to be on top of it but troll ho has been busy helping another lawyer.

Now she has asked me to be on fluourecnt light detail. I wasn't in the mood to get into a fight so I was like ok. So for the past day I have been calling the super every two hours to see what the status is. It is the same answer. They are working on it.

I am just waiting for Friday.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Qutting Early

I got yelled by the BS. I told her that I was quitting early and that I was going to basically blow off work for the entire week I was there.

She kept telling me to stop acting like such a baby. That the world is full of b***hes. It doesn't end after I stop this internship. She told it gets worse wherever you go and you can't just run away. I was like what was I supposed to do? She told me to finish out the week but be on time and be a model intern. Anyone starts crap with you just walk away. I was like fine.

Then she was on my case to find another job. She was like believe I am doing this. You are a f**king adult and I have to still baby your ass.

Sunday, August 21, 2005



Friday, August 19, 2005

Last day.

It's official. I put in my notice. Next Friday is my last day. I might take off sooner. I can't stand another second. Working is for suckers. Taking off for the Hamptons in an hour.

All of my co-workers can go to hell.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Laying low

I have decided to give up. Surrender. Just do my time and walk away.
After my little tiff with 90210 girl I wanted to avoid her but she cornered me on Monday while I was doing copies and asked to speak with me.

We had sitdown at a Starbucks to patch things up. Actually it was more like she was patching me over. She apologized but then started to turn the whole thing around in a patronzing way saying that she was concerned about my welfare. That I seem to have a lot of anger which is surprising because of my upbringing and I should really work on that.

Everytime I tried to say soemthing she would interrupt me by saying I 'm not finished. It was really pissing me off. She kept saying that she was there for me if I needed a shoulder to cry on. She had this look of pity on her face when she said that.

Thank you everyone for writing and giving me suggestions in how to deal with this. But I realize I am going to be done here soon. It's not worth rocking the boat.

I just want to get this done.

Thursday, August 11, 2005


This is so stupid. And its not even my fault. One of the paralegals who I will call 90210 girl since her wardrobe is straight out of that tv show was going bonkers last week because she was juggling ten things at once. One of the things she was stressing over was this short she made during the summer and she wanted to send it to her parents in Ottawa. Anyways her brother was heading to Ottawa but couldn't come by to pick her up.

Here's a little back story about 90210 girl. She just finished her degree at the Tisch school of the arts at NYU. Or as it is called among the clague the Tisch school of bartending and waiteressing.

Anyway being a film student means she is a bulsh*t artist. She was amusing to us because she would always talk about the film industry and had the inside scoop to everything. But it was really annoying because she was always talking down to us whenever film or tv came up in our conversation. She always seemed to know what the real deal of what was going on in the film world. I think what really annoyed me about her was that she would throw in some french whenever she talked to me and when I didn't understand it she would act shocked and act dissappointed that because I did not learn it in private school. when word got around the office about my trustfund thanks to the lawyer biatch who hired me, she would make snide comments about me shopping for new guccis or if I had found a husband yet.

Anyways for the past couple of weeks she kept talking up about her film short and making a big deal how this was going to get her into Sundance and that she was in talks with William Morris and CAA to represent her. Anyways the film gets done and she wants to send a copy to her parents. So the plan was to have her brother pick it up but he gets tied up at work and won't be able to come by or else he will miss the flight.

I don't why I did this. Maybe its because I wanted to be liked. Maybe it is because I want to get along but I offer to help out by arranging for a messenger for her. She is thankful and I call up the messenger to pick up the dvd.

Big mistake.

The messenger comes on time picks up the package and I think everything is alright. I take off for lunch and when I come back 90210 girl is waiting for me surrounded by the other paralegals. They all look like I just drowned some kittens in maple syrup.

In a low but ripping voice, 90210 girl proceeds to tear me a new one saying that the dvd arrived too late and that her brother could not get it in time. She told it was my fault. Now it was very hot that day and I had just fought a mob of tourists to get a soup and the last thing I wanted to deal with was her skanky french ass so I chose to walk away and I sat down to eat. As I am eating they all crowd around me and 90210 girl contiuned to rip into me. I try to ignore her but she starts throwing in barbs about me being a spoiled brat and that if I didn't have daddy's money I would be nothing. Y'know. Stuff that I usally get in comments. When I heard that I was about throw my soup into her face and then stomp on her burning face. Instead I tell her its not my fault and that I called the messenger and it was the messenger's responsibility to take careof the delivery. 90210 girl keeps telling me it was my responsibility. I am on the verge of ripping off her head and shoving it up her ass.

Ok. I am a f**k up at times. I admit it. And yes, I try to take the easy way out. But when it comes to things that are not my fault and I am blamed for it then I get pissed. So I start screaming at her its not my fault.

We ended up getting into this huge screaming match and one of the lawyers come out screaming for us to shut up. So we quit it. And I think that is the end.

At the end of the day I get called in by the lawyer in charge and she rips me a new one for disrutping the office and I am like its not my fault. 90201 girl started it. The lawyer doesn't care. I am the one who started to screaming so its my fault. I try to explain the situation but she cuts me off. She tells me my intership is over soon and she doesn't want anymore grief and if anything does happen it's my ass.

I am shaking with such rage. This has been the hardest thing to write about. I feel helpless and there is nothing I can do about it. So now its a waiting game.

I don't want to go back. I don't want to deal with this bulls**t. Please just leave me alone.

Monday, August 08, 2005


I called into to work and let them know I am running late. But I don't want to go in after what happened on last week. I know I am going to be suffocating from all the pissed off vibes from the paralegals.

I feel like I am back in the 6th grade when the teacher is going over the homework and asking everyone questions and I am praying I am not called on. I can't do this anymore.

They are all angry at me. But its not my fault. All I did was call the messenger.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

I really don't need this

I am really, really mad. I have this dark cloud of depression over me that has dumped on me at work.

Have you ever been so mad that your can't talk or write about it? You want to express it but just saying one word about it makes your insides churn and your tongue. I am at that stage right now. I need to just get some distance.

I wish it was Friday so I could take off right now for the Hamptons. But it isn'tI can't take off Friday because of the s**t I pulled last time.

Going to make myself a bowl of bananas and soymilk.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

I'm ok your ok

I found out when my last day will be.
Has anyone out there taken Kaplan?
The parents will be happy about this.

The end of comments?

I try to ignore this s**t but its gotten to the point where I feel I have to do something about this comment.

I guess your lurking did'nt clue you in to who you are talking to.
PP does not take Earnest advice. She doesn't take any advice at all. She just f***s around with life and when she gets too depressed, which is every other minute or so, she eats a box of Cocoa Puffs with soy milk, gains another ten pounds, tells her commentors to f**k off, and that, in a nutshell, is her life.
She is doomed, even now, at the advanced age of 21, to her golden cage, her prison, her living death, and there is not a f**king thing anyone, anywhere can do about it.
She was born into a family blessed with money, but she was not blessed with brains, a spine, or, for that matter, with looks worth taking note of.

I have nothing against advice. I have something against people telling me what to do and juding me for who I am. We all have problems with our lives whether we are rich or poor. How dare you say such things about me. What makes your life so great? What makes you so special that you can act as judeg jury and exectutioner?

C'est la vie, we can't all be winners.
The way she is now is the way she will always be.
She will not find out what she really likes to do, because she does not and will not ever really like to do anything.
She will spend her entire life in a protracted state of ennui, spiced up by shopping and binge eating.

No. We're not all winners. Except for me. I know IA mgoing to win. Trust fund or no trust fund. And you are right. So far I am not really happy about what is going on with my life and maybe it will be like this for awhile, maybe till the day I die. But in the meantime I will enjoy the simple pleasures of my life. If it means going light speed with the amex platinum buying LV handbags. Fine. If it means eatinga pint of Cherry Garcia every night. Fine.

That's it, that's all there is, there ain't no more to her than that.
I suppose her father will one day blackmail some young lawyer into marrying her, dangling the carrot of the family wealth, and a partnership in the firm.
She will always have someone to take care of her financially, she need never work.
Emotionally, she will never have ANYONE to take care of her. Simply because...she is entirely empty. She has got nothing to give. She cannot love or care for anyone, not now, not ever, and no one will ever really love or care for her.
She is a zombie, devoid of real human feelings.
It is'nt even really her fault, entirely. It is her family tradition, to value money over character, or genuine feeling, or altruism.
The fault that is hers is not seeing through it all.
So, doling out advice to her with a straight face is completely ludicrous, a waste of time.

I swear to god if I ever meet you I will take my foot and stick up so far up your ass you will coughing up my Manolo Blahnik. Don't you dare talk about my family like that. Just because somone has full financial support does not mean they are empty within. Want to know my true my family tradition? It's finding a**holes like you and smacking them down with the reality that they the only thing they can do is be sad and miserable spread the haterade because that is all they have in their lives.

Maybe I will end being a wife of a guy that my father has set up for me. Maybe the guy who sees me as a meal ticket to money and a secure position in life and we'll live a lie of a marriage while he cheats on me and I seduce my massuse while our kids are sent off to boarding school to Switzerland.

If you want love. Show some first. Give hate and you will get it right back.

You want to hear something f**ked up? I wish I was in your words "a zombie, devoid of real human feelings." I wish I was. I wish I was just completely numb. Then I wouldn't have to deal with peopel liek you and and the those hyenas at work. I wouldn't feel alone when I see my see my friends with their boyfriends. Then I wouldn't feel like s**t everytime my parents would yell at me about my life.