Thursday, March 10, 2005

Almost broke down

I am not the biggest fan of the upper eastside. I have some bad memories when I was ten involving a playdate from a girl from hebrew school. I visited her at her home which was this apartment filled lots of old stuff. I think her parents were professors. There was this one room in her apartment that smelled like piss. When I asked her about it she told me her grandmother used to live in the bedroom and her parents had just placed her in a nursing home. Maybe they wanted to protect the grandmother from her because a week later at Hebrew School she ended up pushing me down a set of stairs. I wasn't injured but I never went back to her house.

Piss and psychotic little girls was on my when I was walking into the east 80's. I was going to see this apartment I found on the web. I wasn't too crazy about the location but it was a really cute three bedroom.

So here I am walking in the 80's getting ripped apart by freezing wind when the broker calls me to cancel. The dickless wonder tells me that he just got an offer at the asking price in cash and has to take it off the market. I was so pissed. He told me it was what the owner wanted and then told me he had other places to show. I told him to f**k off for wasting my time and hung up on him.

I walked around depressed wondering if I was ever going to buy a place when I saw this place.

Never have I wanted to scarf down as many black and white cookies as possible. you probably gain ten pounds from the smell of sugar and butter alone. They had these really temping doughnuts. They looked like french cruellers with chocolate and vanilla frosting.

The woman behind the counter asked if I wanted anything. I was like, let me think about it than I walked out. I had to leave. I would have bought their chocolate cake and put my face into it.

I am trying to lose weight. Have to get rid of that roll around my waist.

I hear moaning from downstairs. The great masturbator must be at it again.


Blogger J.Green said...


As my wife it's ok if you have a few extra pounds. Go for the cookies. As my wife I will buy you as many cookies as you so desire.

Love always and forever.

11:03 PM  
Blogger Ole said...

Honey, you've got me all wrong. I'm a fan. Why else would I wade through the mediocre prose and spelling errors?

Just out of interest... how do you know that the people cheering you on are "really cool"? Might they, in fact, be Dunkin' Donuts-employed, Gap-wearing, dentally-challenged, granola-munching Goths?

Just a thought.

On a more positive note... allow me to offer some support during your overeating phase. I've never had the problem myself, so I'm eminently suited to offering a shoulder to cry on.

2:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ole loves PP :)

5:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do you pronounce 'Ole'?? Is it ole! like in Spanish? Is it Ole like in Scandinavian (Ole Olafsson)? Is it ole as in 'good ole boy'? Please clarify!
And Ole, are you a man or a woman??

5:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


5:39 PM  

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