Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Britney Spears C section scar NSFW

I saw pictures of this before but they didn't show very much. But then this was sent around the office.

Yikes. I guess that was one way to avoid cooter slack. Obviously she should know better and should wear some underwear. Afterall she is a public figure. But then again, if you look at the angles of some of these photos it is obvious that those paparazzis were being a litte too aggressive. My media studies professor would have had a field day with this.

It is nice to know Britney has a red birthmark on her left ass cheek.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Thanksgiving overload

Well, I am happy to say that Thanksgiving was stress free unlike the past two. Then again it helps to have it someone else's house. It is so much more enjoyable when your not playing host and turkey killer at the same time.

My social calendar is starting to open up considerably. I got invited to two parties in Williamsburg. I am not sure if I want to go. They both take place on a Saturday. And we all know Saturdays are so ovah.

“In the old days, Saturday was the destination night for chic New Yorkers headed to Studio 54 at its most resplendent,” Mr. Musto said in an e-mail message. “But things changed as more and more tri-staters were willing to use the bridges and tunnels for here-we-come Gotham weekends, so the locals started staying home and triple-bolting their doors as if in a George Romero film.”

Well in that case the solution is simple. We have to blow up these f**king bridges and flood the tunnels.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Judith Regan

I overheard this conversation between Goat and Trainer over this whole OJ interview and book deal. It was a subject that I was hoping to avoid the topic since I think he is a disgusting piece of human refuse and simply talking about him just gives him what he wants which is attention.

“Thank God Rupert Murdoch had the sense to shut down Operation OJ. Finally we are done with that a**hole.”


“Dude we are never going to be done with him. He will always be part of the pop culture lexicon.”

“You know what pisses me off? It’s Judith Regan. I mean she’s passing herself off as some type of saint who was abused by men. In fact she’s just a money grubbing parasite.

“So are you saying that she’s lying?”

“No, I just saying she’s being exploitive.”

“Do you think Tom Cruise is being exploitive?”

“What is this have to do with Judith Regan?”

“Nothing, but I just want to know that if he’s being exploitive?”


“So you don’t think the wedding in Italy, inviting Brooke Shields who he insulted on the Today show and running around with his baby and Katie Holmes to every camera is simply an effort to rehabilitate his image?”

“Of course not. Its obviously a PR stunt on his part.”

“So don’t you think Judith Regan is doing the same thing?”

“What the f**k are you talking about? OJ is a murderer, Tom Cruise is a just a douchebag.”

“No argument there, but they are both similar in the sense they are trying to make a name for themselves. Judith Regan recently moved to LA. She was a big shot in NYC but in LA she is just a newcomer, there fore she needs to make a big splash even if it is a splash in toxic waste. Tom Cruise is in house of horses**t since being booted from Paramount and ragging on the chick from the Blue Lagoon. They are both in the same mission, no pun intended, which is to stay relevant. But I think Judith is getting the s**t end of the stick.”

“Why are you defending her?”

“I am not defending her, I am just pointing out the fact they are both in the same position however if Tom was a woman and Judith was a man, I doubt Tom would survive the media onslaught and if Judith Regan was a man she would be getting high fives for landing the deal of the century.”

“So you don’t find her despicable?”

“Of course I find some of her actions despicable. Its funny when it was discovered that she was having an affair with Beranard Kerik I was more pissed off over that fact that she was having the affair in an apartment meant for 9/11 workers over looking Ground Zero rather than her having an affair with a married man. I mean Jesus, they have enough money, rent a hotel. But to simply single her out for being a exploitive is hypocritical since the core aspect of media is to exploit. Others may call it just presenting the information but there is always a degree of exploitation involved. All Judith is doing is playing by the rules.”

“So this is all ends justifies the means.”

“Here’s a true story, when Judith first started out in publishing, there was an executive who sexually harassed her on a daily basis. Judith realized that it was all going to be a he said she said if she reported him and he had more power she did so she simply smiled it off and went about her day. One day this executive became so bold that he manually deposited his DNA on a statue in her office. Still Judith smiled it off.”

“That is nasty.”

One day Rupert Murdoch gave her the deal of the lifetime but she had to leave Simon unencumbered. When the powers that be became resistant on her departure she informed them that she was working in an unsafe environment caused by this executive. The executive of coursed denied this, Judith responded by informing them she still had the statue that he splooged on in cold storage wrapped in saran wrap and was more than happy to bring it to court and she was more than willing to cover the cost for the DNA tests. This was all before Monica Lewinsky.

“That is really heinous.”

“Exactly, but that’s how far you have to go if want you are going to build multi million dollar company and raise two kids at the same while fighting of a legion of divorce lawyers. You have to be willing to punch below the belt because there are ten other guys who are going to be doing the same thing. And they will shed no tears for you. And if you are a woman you have to work harder to be better because you will be automatically labeled as weak. It's do or die. That is why the actions she takes seem so reprehensible to the rest of the world because we don't understand her motivations or what she has gone through."

I zoned out after that.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Courting Couture Passes the Bar

My home girl Jessica passed the bar! Now hurry up and slap on those Ally McBeal mini skirts and start racking enormous amounts of billable hours.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Beyonce and Eva sitting in a tree.

I don't even know why they are even bothering with the movie.

Beyoncé's role reversal
Saturday, November 11th, 2006

LOS ANGELES - Booty fruity! R&B goddess Beyoncé Knowles and sultry "Desperate Housewives" star Eva Longoria are set to lock lips and hips in a big-screen lesbian love story.
The gorgeous pair are in talks to make "Tipping the Velvet," based on Sarah Waters' graphically saucy Victorian tale of a love affair between an 1890s dance hall star and an oyster-shucking fishmonger's daughter.

"We've had 'Brokeback Mountain,' so the time is right for this divine novel to get the same treatment," the 25-year-old Knowles said at a New York benefit for ovarian cancer.
The sexy Longoria, 31, is also enthusiastic about the Sofia Coppola-helmed project.

"Yes, it's true. We are talking about doing the movie together," she said. "It's such a wonderful novel, a beautiful love story."

Coppola, who directed the edgy "Virgin Suicides" and the Oscar-winning "Lost in Translation," hopes to get the green light to make the groundbreaking feature about hot lady love.

Knowles, currently starring in "Dream Girls," would be tapped for the role of Kitty Butler, a male impersonator at the local music hall, while Longoria, would likely play Nancy Astley, the brine-soaked oyster girl who becomes Kitty's lesbian lover and later dabbles in prostitution.

The book's title is a Victorian sex euphemism. A BBC-TV version four years ago caused outrage in Britain due to graphic love scenes that included sex toys.

A Destiny's child and a Depeserate Housewife dropping gorditias? All I know is that when this movie comes out I am not even going step one foot into a theater because I know every surface will be sticky and it is not because of the candy.

They can argue all they want how this is art and that they are doing their own Brokeback, but all it is is an opportunity for millions of red blooded hetrosexual males to engage in manual spermicide. Why? Because this is what straight guys talk about, dream about, get wet dreams about. This is why the adult video industry exists. It has all the elements of porn which are lesbian trysts, sex toys and call girls.

Yes. I know Beyonce and Eva won't be bumping uglies but it doesn't matter. Once their hot naked bodies began writhe together covered in the sweat of sapphic love, try to convince anyone it doesn't look real.

What makes me upset about this whole thing is that it feels so exploitive of women. I know some will argue that a woman has a right to her own sexuality and to make her own choices in her sex life. And I am all for that. But this seems more of an opportunity for Hollywood to fill as many seats as possible even if it means spending a fortune on paper towels, ERA and dry cleaning for movie seats.

But by placing it in same ranks as Brokeback Mountain is just jumping on its coattails. If Hollywood was really progressive, why not have Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen Degeneres be cast in this movie? Because those girls are real pickers of ruby fruit.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Why bother?

I saw this in the NYT

Woman in 'Shakira Shaking' Contest Sues

Published: November 7, 2006
Filed at 5:10 p.m. ET

NEW YORK (AP) -- A woman who said she fell off a slippery bar and injured herself while dancing in a ''Shake-It-Like-Shakira'' contest is suing the Manhattan saloon that sponsored the competition.

Megan Zacher, 22, of Delanco, N.J., fell at Calico Jack's Cantina on 42nd Street and Second Avenue on July 8, 2006, her lawyer, Lawrence Simon, said Tuesday. He said the fall caused a torn knee ligament that required surgery.

Simon said Zacher and two friends were celebrating a birthday. She had been at the crowded establishment about an hour, was working on her second drink and was dancing on the bar, vying for the $250 ''Shake-It-Like-Shakira'' prize, when she fell, Simon said.

Shakira, pop songstress originally from Colombia, who also has Lebanese ancestry, is famous for her eye-catching belly dance moves in her videos and in-person appearances. Her latest hit is ''Hips Don't Lie.''

Simon said there were about 10 other women on the bar. Her friends, schoolmates from Staten Island's Wagner College, did not take part in the jiggle competition, which required a $35 entry fee, Simon said.

Zacher's lawsuit, filed Monday in Manhattan's State Supreme Court, says the bar's operators should have known the contest was ''dangerous and likely to lead to injury.''

Calico Jack's was ''negligent, reckless and careless'' in ''permitting the bar area to become and remain wet and otherwise in an unsafe condition, and by failing to warn customers of the hazards presented,'' court papers say.

The lawsuit asks unspecified damages from Calico Jack's. A man at Calico Jack's who identified himself as the manager, who identified himself as ''Tom'' but refused to give his last name, said he had no comment.

I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't say this but I find this really funny. If you are going to get drunk and shake it like Shakira at a place called Calico Jack's, then you might as go to your local hooters and save yourself the trip. This story reminds me of tourists who go France but instead of indulging in the local cuisine they head to McDonald's.

I mean why bother coming to Manhattan if you are just going to engage in wacky hijinks that is more at place at a junior high rec night? It is so B&T.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


As if we didn't see this coming.

TMZ is reporting that Britney has finally pulled the plug on her leechy husband, citing irreconcilable diffs and asking for full legal and physical custody of Sean Preston and Jaeden Blu or whatever. "Sources tell TMZ there was no single reason for Britney pulling the plug, rather, it was 'a string of events.'

My mom used to have a name for these types of guys. Kept men. She came up with that term after vacationing in Monte Carlo. They were armies of well tanned, athelic men dressed in the finest clothes this side Armani. But heroin junkies, they were always on the lookout for their next fix which was a middle age woman made single by widowhood or divorce. They latch onto them in order for those women to support them.

Mom actually had a conversation with one kept guy who confessed to her that there was only one rule that a good kept man has to follow in order for the party to keep on going. Don't f**K with the gravy train.

Kevin, is an example of f**king your own gravy train. And it is obvious that it was huge ego that did him in. Because he had bedded, married and impregnated Britney he was under the impression that he was the equal of Britney. When in reality he was the f**king sperm donor.

All he had to do was take care of business which was to service Britney's need. Be a good dad and not smoke pot in front of the kids.

But no. He thought by breeding with Spears that somehow her juicy musical goodness would somehow be absorbed in his bloodstream like a virus. He thought he was a star when in reality he was just an asteroid.

So what is going to happen now?

I predict that this f**ktard has only begun to travel into a serious world of hurt. I think and his other babymamas are going to be on a warpath. Now that he is no longer has lips on the Spears Teet, they have to go in suck him dry before he blows the rest of his money.

KFed has already embarked on a future of laughbale attempts to be taken seriously. I mean when he showed up on Monday Night Raw just after his dynamic debut on the Kids Choice awards, you know the next stop for the KFed train is Knottsberry Farms.

If Kfed wants to survive he has to jump on the reality show bandwagon. Don't be surprised to see him on the The Surreal Life. I wouldn't put it past him for him to gain 200 pounds in order to get on Celebrity Fit Club.

Oh KEd. If only you had followed Augilera's husband cue and just stay in the background as a music producer.

Monday, November 06, 2006

More Halloween pictures

We're cute, We're thin, get used to it!

These were a bunch of Japanese tourists at the parade. I thought they were adorable even though their only objective is to steal all the white men in Manhattan.

Kidding! Not.

Little edgy today. We are starting our move to our new space. The irony is that it isn't a new space at all. It's back at the office where I was fired.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Happy Halloween!

Stop looking at our baseballs. Or we will get our hands on your bats.

Just among some of the pictures from the Halloween Parade. I will write more later one but the OC is on.