Monday, March 28, 2005

Cockblocker

Saturday I played cockblocker for VD. This club promoter that VD works with now and then has been hounding her to hang out with her, maybe do some dancing. But its obvious that all he wants is a dance in the sheets. VD's F buddy had to cancel at the last minute since he was being sent off to Ireland for a week by his company.

VD told the CP (club promoter) that I would be tagging along which I didn't want to since the weather has been really horrible and all I wanted to do was stay in my apartment. VD told me it would be a great way to make a contact. I said what contact? The only contact this guy wants is sex and that's with you. I really didn't want to go but I went anyway since its part of the job description.

We put together a strategy that would take up the most time with the least amount of talking. So we banked on a movie and a dinner in that order.

This is how the strategy works. You go meet with a guy at the movie theatre perferably a late show but not too late. You get there at least 5 minutes before showtime where you have a seinfeld chat while you are waiting for the previews. The movie starts and for at least two hours you both engage in an activity where you do not speak to each other. Afterwards you head of to a diner or someplace cheap where you eat and discuss the movie. After the dinner is done he pays the bill and you part ways.

The great thing about this strategy is that it is on a schedule of its own so there are expectations of when it will end. Using the movie allows very little conversation. My sister taught me this in high school and it works wonders.

NEVER EVER GO TO A BAR OR CLUB AFTER THE MOVIE! It totally ruins the vibe. When heavy amounts of alcohol are involved the situation changes and then the guy's expectations for the night increases.

We ended up seeing this insane Thai movie called Ong Bak in Union square. It was about a guy who has to get the a head of a statue that was stolen from his village. It was not Shakespeare in Love. The fights were out of control in the movie. Before the movie started CP was going on about how the actor could really walk on people's shoulders and that it took two years to make this film because people kept getting injured. One scene that I thought was really cool was when he was being chased. I noticed something weird though. I thought I saw Speilberg's name written on one of the walls while the actor was doing his stunts on the street.

After the movie we ended up getting India food and had a discussion on Thailand and spiritualism. When the check came, VD and I pulled out saying we had an early morning and we left.

Simple but it works.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

PP-- you are correct about the writing on the wall. I have the DVD at home and have watched the chase scene many times as my husband shows it to everyone who comes over. The wall in the background of the chase scene says "Speilberg Let's do it together". The kid is amazing and he really wants to make it in American cinema like Jet Li so this was an invitation to Spielberg. Interesting, that you saw that movie, not what I would expect from a self-proclaimed "Prada Princess". BTW, good luck with the whole job and life thing. Even though I am not sure you are real or not, you are at least a somewhat sympathetic character.

2:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, I do agree with "appleblossom": You are very likeable! In fact, I ADORE you! Marry me!

4:54 PM  

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