Monday, October 22, 2007


Every office has one. The person who is a complete busy body. Busy with other people's business but their own. We have 5 of them. They are a ghoulish gaggle of girls that remind of the claque. But less pretty and less rich.

We have the Toucher

I call her the toucher because she touches people, all the time. When you say hello to you as you pass her by she grabs your wrist and squeezes it. She has this annoying habit of putting her hand on your back if she is behind you. And it is not a love tap. It is a firm pat and drag down your back. It is especially annoying in the morning when you have only 4 hours sleep and haven't had your cappuccino. What makes it really creepy is that she is a 200 pound woman with flattop haircut. Did I mention she likes to wear designer jeans.

Meet the Chat.

This girl is always talking. Whether it is in a group, cell phone, at the copy machine, online. Even when she is not talking she is talking. I think she raised the quarterly profits of Verizon with texting alone. Maybe if she put this much attention into her work she would actually amount to something.

Billy girl,

This name was given by Rantman based on a some cartoon about a stupid boy, a girl,
and the grim reaper. She is really dumb. It Rantman three hours to explain to her the concept of ebay and how to use it. And like most dumb girls she is blond, beautiful and has an enormous rack. Which is probably the reason she hasn't been fired already.

The Engager

She has been engaged for a year and everything she does is all about her wedding. What type of ring she is getting, her wedding dress, her reception, her fiancee and her in laws. Which is the reason why she can't get her work done.


It seems every two hours she locks herself in the bathroom. I have walked by the bathroom only to hear her loud snorting. Then she talks about her rampant hay fever to cover up her taste for nose candy. Not only does she do it. She gives it to. The Crow spotted her coming out of the supply closet with one the guy employees with a paper towel pressed against her mouth.

I haven't blogged about these people because, well they are not worth it. Also they have been isolated in their own corner of the loft. But the game has changed. Orders from top has forced us all to consolidate and starting next week we have to play musical chairs with our desks. Word is that some of the space is being rented out to some other company. Not a good sign. Salad Dancer layoffs are in the air. Hedge fund money is starting to dry up.

I am tired of this. I know what is going to happen. Political turf wars, missing paper weights and eternal games of Who Moved My Cheese? Not looking forward to this.


Anonymous Janet said...

ha ha ha your best post yet.

4:03 PM  

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