Detox
Last night just at a pint of Hagen Daz. Strawberry cheesecake flavor. By my count I have had three this week. Half the clothes are too small for me. When I wear these really cute pair of leather pants my fat hangs over the waist. It reminds of that show Stars Without Makeup where they showed celebrities how they really looked I. They showed a picture of Christian Aguilera and it was obvious she was hitting the Cristal too many times because she had this beer belly that was poking out between her vest and pants.
VD woke me up at 8am. I wanted to shoot her. She had an emergency and needed me to go to her apartment and grab a gift basket and drop it off at cliet she is wooing. She can't do it since she is taking a shuttle to Boston. I was like fine and told her I could use the exercise since I felt really fat. VD told me that I should detox and just eat vegetables and fruit and abstain from meat and other diary products. I was like I tried that already but I kept going to the Hagen Daz. She told me my problem was that my colon was probably stopped up and should get a colonic. I told her if my ex didn't any backdoor there is no way in hell I am going to let somone shove a tube up my butt. VD swears by them and does them every couple of months when she feels bloated.
VD told me then eat lots of psyllium fiber which will clean out my system and poo better. So I am heading off to Whole Foods as soon as I take care of VD's errand.
VD woke me up at 8am. I wanted to shoot her. She had an emergency and needed me to go to her apartment and grab a gift basket and drop it off at cliet she is wooing. She can't do it since she is taking a shuttle to Boston. I was like fine and told her I could use the exercise since I felt really fat. VD told me that I should detox and just eat vegetables and fruit and abstain from meat and other diary products. I was like I tried that already but I kept going to the Hagen Daz. She told me my problem was that my colon was probably stopped up and should get a colonic. I told her if my ex didn't any backdoor there is no way in hell I am going to let somone shove a tube up my butt. VD swears by them and does them every couple of months when she feels bloated.
VD told me then eat lots of psyllium fiber which will clean out my system and poo better. So I am heading off to Whole Foods as soon as I take care of VD's errand.
posted by Pradaprincess at 9:30 PM
5 Comments:
Ole: This might seem like an odd question, but are you by any chance Australian? And have you ever posted on the Bored Of Studies website?
Colonics are not the way to go. Anorexia or bulimia would be my vote if you want to loose weight. Perhaps a small herion habit. Wait! BOTH.
Plus think of the amazing material for your blog? Priceless.
oh my god you are so tragic. GO TO THE GYM. and get all the crappy food OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. jesus christ.
PP, please stop wasting your life and do something with it.
PP- psyllium can actually be really irritating to the lining of the colon, and can cause dehydration because it absorbs too much water, being that it's a soluble fiber. flax fiber works best and is the most gentle, but it's not going to remove any fat- i'm assuming you know that already. you probably have candida, being that you seem to eat tons of sugar, so you might want to address that and do a candida cleanse. oh yeah- not that i care or anything. colonics are great and very healthy, but not necessarily effective for weight *loss, although people do tend to feel better afterward. it's a good way to start a cleanse. yeah, i work for a cleansing company.
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