Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Interviews suck

Last Wednesday's interview was an absolute mess. I met up with VD for breakfast over at Veselka in the East Village because she was going to be meeting a club promoter who wanted to do an event. After breakfast it was at around 10 to 10 and my interview was at 10:30. The plan was to take Astor Place to Union square take the express, transfer over to the 7 go to Bryant park and take the F train over to Rock center my interview.

I didn't even get on the train. The 4,5,6 were all shut down because of a signal problem. No need to panic. So I decided to catch a cab. What cab? Everyone else is thinking like I am jumping into anything that looks yellow.

I run my ass off over to the F train by 14th street. I thinking maybe I should take a bus but I don't know where they are.

After my commute from hell I arrive at the office sweaty and disgusting but I am five minutes early. The receptionist takes my name, I ask for the bathroom and told to go down the hallway. I touch up my makeup and look straight into a mirror. I breathe in and out calming my center. Than I walk out. I notice the there is a different receptionist who looks like she just ate the first receptionist. I take my seat and wait. That was a really big mistake.

At around 10:35 I get a little concerned. I want to say something but the receptionist is on the phone but it definitely isn't a business conversation. She is playing with her cornrows while talking about getting her friends to join weight watchers but one friend prefers to eat a couple of slabs of ex lax to lose weight. The receptionist could actually lose a couple of tons, which I am sure she’ll get rid she craps out the first receptionist she ate.

10:40 and I am getting really nervous, did the interviewer forget? What do I do? What if they are in a meeting? I am unsure what to do when my cell phone goes off and it’s the interviewer asking me where I am. I tell her I am in the waiting room. A second later the interviewer pops out dressed in the brooks brothers women's line. She has dark curly and sharp look on her face. Reminds of that woman in Florida during the election mess. What’s he rnaem? Katherine Henry? Harris?

There is a huge crossfire between all of us. I tell the interviewer what time I got there and that I went to the bathroom and when I got back the fat receptionist was there.(I didn't say she was fat she was fat in front of her face.)Fat receptionist tells us that she didn't know about me that the other receptionist called her to grab a smoke and never let her know who I was and what I was doing here and that I never said anything which really got me annoyed because its not my job to tell her who I am if I already told the other receptionist. Fat receptionist should already know. And I was like I thought you knew who I was?

The interviewer is beyond P'Oed who calls the other receptionist who comes in and claims to have told the other receptionist that I had an appointment and to call the interviewer. The two receptionists start to get into a huge argument the interviewer tells them to shut up and takes me inside to another room.

When we sit down in her office everything is calm but I can see the tension on her face. She asks for my resume, which I hand over to her and she studies it very closely. Than she looks at me with this strong angry look like I did something wrong and I am in the principal’s office. Her eyes boring through me as if I am not sand blowing in the wind. We are started talking about college. It turns out that the interviewer is straight from Albany. Here parents are professors there and she went to SUNY Albany for college and then went there to law school. And she commuted to school even for law school. It was because it was free. She asked if I knew anything about real estate law. I said no and she made a comment that it was interesting that my father was one of the top lawyers yet I know nothing about the law. I was about to say it was interesting that she lived in Albany all her life and knew nothing about trailer parks. But I hold back.

The rest of the interview was me explaining why I had no job experience and what I could offer the position. She responded by saying that your offerings seem limited which is lawyer talk for you have nothing. I was like what the hell? Then I figured out what was going on. She wasn’t pissed at me being late she was pissed because of me. To her I was a just a rich girl trying to do something on the side while she had go to a state university because it was free and it was cheaper than sending her to a private college.

The interview ended with her saying thank you for coming and we will be in touch. As I walked out the fat receptionist gave me the look of death. I puffed up my cheeks like a balloon and stared right back at her.

I know now why people stayed unemployed because it is such a pain the ass to get a job.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

PP, i don't think you should get a job. You don't need a job. There ARE people who DO need jobs, and they should be the ones who get them.
What I think you could do is find some kind of service work or volunteer work with some organization that could use the help.
It could be in almost any field, medical, the arts, working with kids, or animals, or with the prison system, or with old people, or the dying, or the mentally ill.
Seriously, PP, it might be really cool to just do something for someone else a few hours a week.
Some of the Kennedys have done things like that. Cool rich people do it, and at least pretend to have a social conscience.
It would give you a bit of scope, enlarge your world and your experience.
Because when all is said and done it is one's total involvement with oneself that causes all of one's unhappiness.
If you volunteer for something, you won't get fired. If you screw up, it's no really big deal, because your just volunteering, not using up someone else's cash.
Just a thought...

8:32 PM  
Blogger Fat Asian Baby said...

Go back to school. It's one of the few ways you can still piss away all your money and still look like you're being productive.

8:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No subways, no cabs...helpless.
Living in manhattan can be like living in a third world country sometimes.

PP You need to marry a wealthy banker who will move you out to the island and give you a chaffeur driven car.

8:56 PM  
Anonymous Yale Chik said...

I never know where the busses are either!


Where is your alma mater, P.P.?

9:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ew, PP, that woman was a biatch. You don't need to slum in corporate America. I agree with the first poster - volunteer. Play with sick kids or something.

1:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for going back to pink, PP. It is you.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

8:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Honey, you just had what is called a courtesy interview. The firm never had any intention of hiring you, but they didn't want to piss off your bigwig daddy so they set it up. Your dad's friend at the firm will call him in a day or so and make some excuse as to why they can't hire you ("our needs have changed"). That's also probably why you had some associate interview you and she resented you wasting her time.

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"To her I was a just a rich girl trying to do something on the side" - This is exactly what you are. You admit it yourself in several posts along with the fact that you are a fat racist.

Also, if you're going to continue to subject us with more of your fiction, please attempt to fix the numerous spelling and grammatical errors within.

I realize you write at a third grade level to further emphasize the ruse, but it just makes everything more painful.

11:04 AM  
Anonymous Other said...

Well, then you, Anonymous at 11:04am, are merely a retarded masochist. After reading this blog for several months, I've decided that, whether or not Pee Pee is mostly a work of fiction, she's still funnier more often than the boorish people who show up to give their ego it's daily jack-off. Nothing gets older more quickly than that...

6:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahahaha...that's so true about the "retarded masochist." Way dull.... We love ya, PP!

8:58 PM  
Blogger Ole said...

Let's be fair... it's perfectly possible to hate everything about this ignorant little girl and still be fascinated by the blog.

Oh, and PP? "She wasn’t pissed at me being late she was pissed because of me". I think you're absolutely right. She resented you wasting her time. But I sincerely doubt that you were important enough to her day to get her resentful of your background.

1:59 AM  
Anonymous Other said...

I hear what you are saying, good ol' Ole, but using the terms "subjecting us to your fiction" and "making everything more painful"...it all says more about the person who is writing the comment than it does about Pee Pee. God, even I sound boring and repetitive- I think I'll shut up and go back to not commenting on anything.

7:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

since you have no desire to work, why did your parents bother to send you to an expensive private college?

6:14 AM  
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12:56 AM  

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