Saturday, July 09, 2005

Chocolate Lucky Charms

Last night I ate a box of lucky charms with soy milk. I couldn't help myself. It was the chocolate flavored kind. My sister once told me that Lucky Charms was once all marshmallow. Mmmmm. Marhsmallow.

I was supposed to go out last night but the rain was insane. Also VD was still recovering from her drama last 4th with her F-Buddy. During the fireworks she asked him where this was leading too. He got a little freaked out about that. VD ended up in the bathroom most of the night crying.

I caught the tail end of True Life on MTV about perfect bodies. There was this one girl, I think her name is Rebecca. Anyways she had amazing body. Perfect abs and gluets. She placed 10th out of 17 in this fitness competion. What was really surprising was that not only was it her first competion but she also graduated from Harvard with a MA in neuroscience. A nerd with abs. I want her body.

This whole Jap thing is getting on my nerves.

Which is why you referred to yourself as a Jap?

"I guess what I do JAP rap. But only I can say that since I am Jewish."

It's in the archives. Idiot.

Well, guess what. I changed my mind. Its not ok. Have you ever changed your mind? Y'know, you want to get sushi but then you realize its Monday so the fish is going to be nasty because its leftover from the weekend and then you change your mind and get a burger instead. I am in a stage right now where I am really not crazy about the word.

The world is at your fingertips, huh? tell us again... WHY exactly are you currently employed as the resident office bitch?

Watch you mouth Nikki. But your right. Why am I doing this? Why am I dealing with these idiots at the office? I don't know. It feels like I need to do this. When I was kid I had this habit of starting and stopping. I wanted to be a ballet dancer when I was in first grade. After a month I stopped because it was too hard. That also happened with piano and voice lessons. In high school I wanted to be in the drama club but I stopped after I got dissed by the president. Mom and Dad drew the line when I wanted to do equestrian. My whole freaked out when I finished college because they never thought I would make it through. They deny it but I know they put a pool to see if I would graduate. I have to see this through no matter how much it sucks. Or until they fire me.

If the world is "at your fingertips", PP, then why are you not doing a single goddam thing to help anybody, anywhere, anytime?

You are a princess? Yeah right. Get off your selfish, spoiled butt and do something for someone else, dip***.

Ok. First of all suck my big Jappy ass. I am not some lapdog who has to go out and do things for other people so I can feel better about myself. I bet your one of those fake people who think your all high and mighty because you watch public television and donate ten bucks to get a totebag. Besides. How can I help other peopel out if I can't help myself.

It's a beautiful day. I don't want to spend it dealing with the haterade.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

way to tell them, PP. Sometimes, you just have to see something through, no matter how unpleasant.

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Ok. First of all suck my big Jappy ass."

Changing your mind again?

9:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I am not some lapdog who has to go out and do things for other people so I can feel better about myself. "

no, you just need to have a big helping of lucky charms

2:44 PM  
Anonymous sndmaven said...

Hi, been lurking on your blog for a little while now. Just thought I'd make one small comment, as someone who isn't sure what to do with her life either.

Sometimes it does actually help to do something for other people. You can learn a lot about what interests you that way, and you can gain insight into what might make a day job interesting for you. If law bores you to tears, then there's got to be something else out there for you.

Of course, it's important to see your commitment to your internship through - give it your all while you are there, and pay attention to what you like and what you hate. That way, when you are trying to figure out your next move, you'll have some more ideas.

There is a lot to be said for trying something completely outside the experiences you have had until now, too.

2:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sndmaven, you're so... Earnest.
I guess your lurking did'nt clue you in to who you are talking to.
PP does not take Earnest advice. She doesn't take any advice at all. She just fucks around with life and when she gets too depressed, which is every other minute or so, she eats a box of Cocoa Puffs with soy milk, gains another ten pounds, tells her commentors to fuck off, and that, in a nutshell, is her life.
She is doomed, even now, at the advanced age of 21, to her golden cage, her prison, her living death, and there is not a fucking thing anyone, anywhere can do about it.
She was born into a family blessed with money, but she was not blessed with brains, a spine, or, for that matter, with looks worth taking note of.
C'est la vie, we can't all be winners.
The way she is now is the way she will always be.
She will not find out what she really likes to do, because she does not and will not ever really like to do anything.
She will spend her entire life in a protracted state of ennui, spiced up by shopping and binge eating.
That's it, that's all there is, there ain't no more to her than that.
I suppose her father will one day blackmail some young lawyer into marrying her, dangling the carrot of the family wealth, and a partnership in the firm.
She will always have someone to take care of her financially, she need never work.
Emotionally, she will never have ANYONE to take care of her. Simply because...she is entirely empty. She has got nothing to give. She cannot love or care for anyone, not now, not ever, and no one will ever really love or care for her.
She is a zombie, devoid of real human feelings.
It is'nt even really her fault, entirely. It is her family tradition, to value money over character, or genuine feeling, or altruism.
The fault that is hers is not seeing through it all.
So, doling out advice to her with a straight face is completely ludicrous, a waste of time.

9:50 PM  
Blogger Radmila said...

Not to be mean or anything...but,

you are = you're (abbreviated)

your = belongs to you

they are = they're (abbreviated)

their = belongs to them

your rants and taking the piss would be far more effective if you used correct contractions.
Hate me for telling you, but I'm doing you a can't pretend to be superior to the people you're telling off and then spell like a 7th grader.

8:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

your eating habits are OUT OF CONTROL!!! how tall are you and how much do you weigh? seriously. i want to know what we're dealing with here.

2:10 PM  
Anonymous sndmaven said...

ah well, I can be an optimist, can't I?

3:08 PM  
Blogger Ole said...

The problem is, you don't make any effort to understand what people are trying to say to you. If we could see some sort of learning curve, that would be a start.

Fact is, whether people make the effort to comment politely or whether they're just using you as some sort of outlet for their own inadequacies, many of them have a point. You do seem like you're going nowhere as a person. "Suck my big jappy ass"? Oh, witty.

2:10 AM  
Anonymous nikki said...

PP, i understand why you are sticking this one out, but why not pick something up on the side? Volunteer for a few hours on Saturdays. sndmaven was right in saying that by helping others, you learn about yourself - what you like, what you can handle, what interests you...

and whether you like how i stated it or not, you ARE the office bitch right now. i make no apologies for that.

8:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PP - an idea for you - consider getting recreationally into blow. Cocaine is an excellent appetite suppresant. Also, being wired would drag your sorry ass out of the house and into a venue where you could interact with others, and would give you something to say. Its not like you cant afford the occasional eightball.

9:23 AM  
Blogger Ole said...

So tell us where your miserable, poorly-written shit is and we'll come take the piss out of that too.

7:55 AM  

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