Post Thanksgiving

I am still recovering from Thanksgiving. It took the whole day for my mother and my big sister to cook the turkey. We were going have it pre made but it seems there was a rebellion amongst her litter who demanded a true Thanksgiving experience which included a real dinner cooked by their mother and the Thanksgiving parade.

Mom and the big S focused on dinner whil my dad and brother in law conveniently dissappeared. I was left holding the bag and had to drag my nephews and niece in a carriage all the way to Macy's at 7 am in the morning. It was a freaking zoo. The crowd was like 20 deep. But somehow we managed to finda good spot. We saw Christina Applegate perform. My nephews were screaming "Hey its Kelly Bundy!" They wathc way too much tv. We stayed for an hour watching the various floats and performances then my nephews said they were getting cold and we headed back to the upper westside.

I think this will be the last time we make a turkey because we ended up having dinner at 10 pm. We finished at around midnight and put the kids to bed. But as far as my dad was concerned the party had just started and the next thing I know I am reliving my sorority days doing shots.

I didn't get up till about 3 in the afternoon the next day. I know. I was being sacrilegious for not honoring Black Friday but I was in no condition to shop.

But I have doing alot of sight shopping particularly with this fashion blog. It is an authentic Italian made fashion blog made out of real Italians. It is called Red Apple Trends. They have an Italian version also.

I could go sick over these boots.

Pirelli black boots
Leather boots with vertical stretch band and rubber sole. Available black and dark brown. Line PZero Rosso (Red) by PZero Pirelli.

Turkey day is a coming

Right now I am inside my Dad's office sitting by myself on his computer. Mom and Big sis are in the kitchen talking. Both Dad and Big Sis's husband are asleep. Dad had a long day with cases and my brother in law is coming off of jetlag. The kids are finally asleep. It is the only moment of peace I have had since yesterday.

At around 1 yesterday my mother called me.

"Sweetie. What are you doing right now?"

"I am just catching up on Desperate Housewives and maybe taking a nap. Why?"

"So you have nothing urgent to do?"

"Not right now."

"That's great. Come over and clean the place up."

"What? Don't you have a maid?"

"Yes. But she left."

"What do you mean she left?"

"Well, we had a bit of a disconnect. She said she was leaving Tuesday. So I assumed that it would be Tuesday night. But she told me she was leaving earlier than that."

"How early?"

"Five minutes ago. So please be a dear and come over."

"Mooom. Why do I have clean up the apartment? Why don't you do it?"

"Sweetie, I have a luncheon to attend to that will not leave me enough time to clean up or find somone else. Normall I would draft your father into battle but he's at the office tearing the opposition a new asshole. And since you are available I thought you would be the best choice."

"Mom. I don't believe this. I am not like at your beck and call."

"Sweetie, I apologize for disrupting your important schedule of watching reruns of Desperate Housewives, oversleeping and spending the GNP equivalent of Liberia on your credit card. But your mother is quite stressed out. And it would be a big help if you would come over here right now."

"Fine."

When I got there Mom was nowhere but she left a note listing the things that had to be done.

Sweetie,

Please do the following.
Change sheets
Clean Bathroom
Clean Kitchen
Empty Dishwasher
Dust
Vaccum

DO NOT MIX THE AMMONIA WITH THE BLEACH! I don't want to explain to your sister and my grandchildren why your corpse is rotting in the bathtub.

Love

Mom


You are a regular Dorthy Parker Mom.

So I have been the Tasmanian Devil of cleanliness. It's not that hard. Our bathroom s are not that dirty. I just sprayed disenfectant on the toilet and scrubbed away at the mildew in the tub. Vaccuming took about 30 minutes since the maid didn't change the bag and I had to go find a new oneon. It was in the kitchen. After that I doused the whole apartment with febreeze. I emptied the dishwasher and began changing the sheets.

Cleaning is not something new to me. My parents had household rule which was that my big sister and I always had to be clean. And we always were. Of course we really creative at it. I became an expert at shoving stuff under my bed and my Big sis was able to hide her stuff in the hamper.

I thought after the Big Sis and the rest of the clan arrived I would be off the hook. No dice, I was recruited for babysitting duty. I don't want to even want to write about it since it will just stress me out. I just want to chill and clear my mind and be ready for tomorrow. More relatives are on their way and my nieces and nephews might want to go to the parade tomorrow. I am not going to freeze my ass out there.

Going to bed.

Thanksgiving

Dr. Big Sister and her husband the lawyer and their brood are coming to New York for turkey day. Big Sis wants to cook Thanksgiving dinner but Mom already ordered it. I don't know when the last time Mom cooked Thanksgiving dinner but I do remember after that dinner she started smoking and it took 5 months for her to quit again.

Anyways Mom called me yestreday and demanded if the Big Sis told me to order Fresh Direct. I was like no why? It seems that Fresh Direct arrived on the her doorstep yesterday bringing with them a whole Thanksgiving feast. She tried to call Big Sis but she was busy seeing paitents. I think she should just wait till tonight since that is when the Big sis and the West Coast clan will be coming in.

Along with that drama, I am sure there will alot of family theatrics. Hopefully it won't be as bad as last year. Last year's Thanksgiving was really traumatic.

What do I want to do?

industry whore said...
Don't be obnoxious. At least she's trying. What exactly do you WANT to do, PP?

I want to be a movie star. Be part of the Hollywood Bazarr. I want to climb Mt Everest and sit on an armrest. I want to have my table at B8 and be able to get people in even if they are late.

I want to bring world peace and give everyone a new life lease. I want people to know that I want my own reality show.

When it is my time to go, I want the world to stop not just go slow. I want them to remember me in all my glory.

I just don't want to be forgotten. Perhaps it is just best for me to be rotten.

I hate writing poems. They make my head hurt.

The Job search

Why is it so hard to find a job? I am hearing all these stories in the news that the economy is doing well. Well why isn't anyone getting back to me? Why am I not getting interviews.

I know the answer. Because no one cares. No one knows who I am. I don't have a network of contacts to put in a good word for me.

OMG. I wish I did nore interships back in college. I tried do one for this production but dropped out after the first week. The producer was always screaming at people.

Maybe I should have stuck it out. Maybe things would have been different. I wasn't really worried about this. I was realying on VD to help me out. But we haven't spoken since fashion week.

I've been thinking about dropping off of some Stella as a peace offering. But then I think I would look really desperate.

But the truth is I am desperate. Dad has been hinting that he could use some help at the office. Maybe I have become paralegal girl again. I'm not even getting interviews for internships.

I have to do something. There are only so many times I can do a Sex and the City dvd marathon.

I love you Stella

Still recovering from the Stella McCartney riots. I think I bruised my kidneys. But It was worth it. I got my flappers. Thanks Courtroom Couture.

Jdate

Ever since I had my falling out with VD my social life has been shot to hell. None of the clauqe has been willing to rise against her tyranny. So I have been left alone. VD was always the ringleader. The one who pulled the strings. She was the master of the ass. She knew which ones to kiss and which ones to kick.

The clique is the religion of all girls. Whether you are running with the Lindsay Lohans and Parils Hiltons of the world or the B List crowd of the Surreal Life, women travel in packs. And if you are alone and targted by a clique, save money for therapy.

I am taking measures to create a social life of myself. I decided the easiest way was to start dating. Dating is a great excuse to explain why you have no friends. Afterall you are too busy meeting guys.

But I didn't want to look like a girl in need of a mercy f**k and didn't want to give VD the satisfaction that I was trolling for scraps. So I made a decision not to go routine destinations of partydom.

Being the lazy princess that I am I took to the web and hit Jdate. Jdate has been getting a bad rap lately because it seems every Chinese woman in New York wants to marry a Jewish guy and since there is a shortage of Jewish men, the opposite sex is taking advantage of the situation to get as many hookups under their belt.

I decided to go for it since I pretty know what I am getting into with a Jewish guy. So for the past two month I have been dating on and off. It has been a mixed bag of really creppy guys to some that I would only be friends with.

Right now I have been seeing this stockbroker who is very nice and has a large circle of friends that welcomed me into their fold. So even though I am not hanging with the claque I am part of a group. I mean if I were to marry this guy I would still have a big wedding even without VD and the girls attending. It is a little early to talk about that. I mean it has been barely a month. But I feel comfortable.

It's kind of weird but I am not freaking out over anything. It seems that when people drop out of your lives there are always others that are ready to take their place. It sounds shallow but sometimes getting cut off is a good thing.

Halloween

OMG. I actually saw Lindsay Lohan in Chelsea. This was the picture. It is actually really funny.

I dressed up as Kate Moss. I was really glad I lost those 15 pounds. I saw VD with the rest of the claque. They were dressed up as the cast of Chicago. We ignored each other. I didn't care I was with my new jdate and his friends.