Monday, November 13, 2006

Beyonce and Eva sitting in a tree.

I don't even know why they are even bothering with the movie.

Beyoncé's role reversal
Saturday, November 11th, 2006

LOS ANGELES - Booty fruity! R&B goddess Beyoncé Knowles and sultry "Desperate Housewives" star Eva Longoria are set to lock lips and hips in a big-screen lesbian love story.
The gorgeous pair are in talks to make "Tipping the Velvet," based on Sarah Waters' graphically saucy Victorian tale of a love affair between an 1890s dance hall star and an oyster-shucking fishmonger's daughter.

"We've had 'Brokeback Mountain,' so the time is right for this divine novel to get the same treatment," the 25-year-old Knowles said at a New York benefit for ovarian cancer.
The sexy Longoria, 31, is also enthusiastic about the Sofia Coppola-helmed project.

"Yes, it's true. We are talking about doing the movie together," she said. "It's such a wonderful novel, a beautiful love story."

Coppola, who directed the edgy "Virgin Suicides" and the Oscar-winning "Lost in Translation," hopes to get the green light to make the groundbreaking feature about hot lady love.

Knowles, currently starring in "Dream Girls," would be tapped for the role of Kitty Butler, a male impersonator at the local music hall, while Longoria, would likely play Nancy Astley, the brine-soaked oyster girl who becomes Kitty's lesbian lover and later dabbles in prostitution.

The book's title is a Victorian sex euphemism. A BBC-TV version four years ago caused outrage in Britain due to graphic love scenes that included sex toys.

A Destiny's child and a Depeserate Housewife dropping gorditias? All I know is that when this movie comes out I am not even going step one foot into a theater because I know every surface will be sticky and it is not because of the candy.

They can argue all they want how this is art and that they are doing their own Brokeback, but all it is is an opportunity for millions of red blooded hetrosexual males to engage in manual spermicide. Why? Because this is what straight guys talk about, dream about, get wet dreams about. This is why the adult video industry exists. It has all the elements of porn which are lesbian trysts, sex toys and call girls.

Yes. I know Beyonce and Eva won't be bumping uglies but it doesn't matter. Once their hot naked bodies began writhe together covered in the sweat of sapphic love, try to convince anyone it doesn't look real.

What makes me upset about this whole thing is that it feels so exploitive of women. I know some will argue that a woman has a right to her own sexuality and to make her own choices in her sex life. And I am all for that. But this seems more of an opportunity for Hollywood to fill as many seats as possible even if it means spending a fortune on paper towels, ERA and dry cleaning for movie seats.

But by placing it in same ranks as Brokeback Mountain is just jumping on its coattails. If Hollywood was really progressive, why not have Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen Degeneres be cast in this movie? Because those girls are real pickers of ruby fruit.


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