Wednesday, May 31, 2006

What every cute thin girl needs: A fat friend

I just watched the reality Cheyenne on MTV. It is a bit more polished then the Hills but I really enjoyed it. Obviously they are using the Osbornes/Jessica Simpson reality show mold to boost up her career.

What really got me thinking is not Cheyenne but her friend Whitney, who is not exactly the thinnest girl in the world. I am not trying to start a fat war. She is not a stick and ther eis notthing wrong with that. But what I wonder is that is she really her best friend? Or was she picked by casting because the two are so different looking. It would make sense since they are already have a family of thin blondes including Cheyenne's sister and her mother.

Did the producers take Cheyenne aside and say "Listen, you are cute and thin and I know you barely know this girl and she has no business wearing tight pants but if you stand aside her as much as possible you will look more cute and thin."

Makes you wonder.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Back to the beach

Weather was quite thunderstormy in the Hamptons but it didn’t damper the drinking and other alcohol-induced destruction.

Ex-Jdate invited me over to his summer share that he was staying at with his fraternity brothers. It was the first weekend for everyone in the Hamptons so we spent the weekend breaking in the house. Besides the drinking, the only thing that occurred over the weekend was this fight.

I was sitting with some girls talking about how sad it was that Marissa died and that the OC is so ovah when we heard these two guys screaming at each other. Between them was one girl who was pushing one of the guys away. She wasn’t doing very well until two of Ex-Jdate’s fraternity brothers jumped and pulled them apart. It was actually kind of funny because they are these big ass Korean guys who use to play rugby and they literally threw the two white guys over their shoulders as if they were sides of beef.

Later that night Ex-Jdate told me the deal about those three while making screwdrivers.

“S and A have been friends since Andover. Anyways. C is A’s boyfriend and a fight broke out between the two and A was the one pushing C back.”

“Love triangle?”

I asked as I sipped my vodka and orange.

“No way. S and A are strictly platonic. It is just that since S and C met, it has been like fire and gasoline.”

“What’s up with that?”

“All I know is that those two have had a hard time getting along. But it isn’t lack of trying, at least on S’s account. He has made every effort to extend his friendship to him but C has returned with frost. But S has taken it since he know A is head over heels in love with C and doesn’t want to cause trouble.”

“So what broke the camels back?”

“From what I gathered it was over a golf game. Last they all went out to dinner and S brought an old college buddy to meet everyone. What happened was that C lit up like a Christmas tree and focused his entire conversation on S’s college buddy. He wouldn’t let S get a word edgewise and totally dominated the conversation. Then in front of S’s face, C invited his college buddy out to a golf game and this pushed S completely over the edge since C has never even invited him out to lunch.”

“Wow. That’s pretty f**king rude.”

“Yeah. So tonight, S got drunk and called C out on that and told him what a two faced a##hole he is and that he spit in his hand when S put out in friendship. And well you know the end of that story.”

“So what is C’s damage?”

“He’s acting like a guy.”

“A stupid guy.”

“No. A normal.”

“Huh? I don’t get it.”

Ex Jdate poured himself another vodka and orange and slowly dropped some ice.

“C views S as a threat. Plain and simple.”

“Why? S and A are just friends.”

“And there lies the problem?”

“Why? I think would have been a problem if S was A ex.”

“Actually that would have put C’s mind at east if that was the case.”

“Why?”

“Because that option would have been explored if S and A had been in a relationship. But since that has never happened it something C’s perceives hanging over everyone’s head.”

“Are you saying that A would hook up with S?”

“No. In fact it would never happen. It is just since they have never gone there, there is always that possibility they might take that road less traveled to see where it leads. And I think now that C has a relationship with A, he fears that S will freak out and realize that A will be spending more time with C and maybe he is losing a chance to be with her.”

“Wait a minute. C thinks that S will try to jump A’s bones because she won’t be around as much.”

“In C’s mind. Yes. But that is never going to happen. S has yellow fever. And A has always said that nothing will ever go beyond friendship. But in C’s mind, that gives him very little assurance.”

“But S isn’t even a threat.”

Ex-Jdate drained the last of his screwdriver.

“All men are threats.” He said as he tossed his cup in the garbage. “Even the ones that aren’t.”

Monday, May 22, 2006

No stress

Ghas hooked me up with an interview. Sort of. One of the groups needs a coordinator. It is not a specialist job so there is very little research involve but there is more admin work which isn't exactly what I am looking for. But it is a start. I emailed the head of the group and he said to contact him after memorial day weekend.


I am going to chill and see what happens next.

Btw. Congrats CC for graduating.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

YOU MURDERERING PIECES OF S**T: YOU KILLED MARISSA!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

I AM NEVER WATCHING THE OC EVER AGAIN! HOW COULD YOU KILL MARISSA? AFTER ALL SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH!THE OC HAS OFFICIALLY JUMPED THE SHARK! IT IS SO OVAH! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW! WATCH SETH MASTURBATE TO SPIDER MAN COMICS? MARISSA WAS THE ONLY ONE I COULD RELATE TO! SUMMER IS SO WHINY! THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST KILLED HER DAD! ITS NOT AS IF HE IS STILL ON THE SHOW AND THE ONLY HE IS REMEMBERED FOR IS BEING JENNIFER ANNISTON'S F**K TOWEL. I DON'T THINK I WILL EVER STOP CRYING!

F**K YOU OC!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

It's going to be fine

I have a college degree.
I am not starving.
My family loves me.
I have skills.
I got a job before and I can do it again.
It's going to eb fine.

This is what I say to myself before I call my ex boss in about 10 minutes.
I have been putting this off too long.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

I want pie

I am watching food finds on the food network. They are showing this amazing Mississippi Mud Pie which I can get in the city. Now they are doing a piece of fried pie. Fried pie. Mmmmmm. Fried pie. I never knew you could fry a pie.

Tomorrow I am going to swallow my pride and call my boss and milk him for leads. I spent a year sitting my ass doing nothing. I can't deal with being yelled at by my entire family.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Something clicks

"Are you pregnant?"

"No."

"Well you are certainly eating like at your first trimester."

"Mom."

We were having dinner tonight at Citrus on the upper west side. Mom had heard about my situation and took me out to dinner to cheer me up, which she may have regretted.I was scarfing down shrimp dumplings, lump crab cake, Citrus roll, Dragon fireroll and all sorts of delicious goodness while mom looked on in horror.

"Do you have to be so mean?"

"I'm not being mean. I just pointing out that you are eating as if you you just came out of the Sudan."

"I am just really stressed."

"Well eating copious amounts of food isn't geoing to help. In fact it will just make it worse. I read in the LA times that fat actually secretes hormones that causes low levels of inflammation. That is probably the cause of hot flashes."

"That's nice to know mom."

Mom took a sip of her appletini and looked at me with a stony expression.

"If there is one I want you to learn from this whole job experience, it is perserverance. Life is going to pull some dirty tricks on you whether you deserve them or not. That is why it is called life. You can't simply drown your sorrows in a pint of Ben and Jerry's."

"I have not been drowing my sorrows in Ben and Jerry's."

"Princess, you have been using our Fresh Direct account and I know everything you have purchased."

"Alright."

"Honey. We are all proud of you. But you got to stick it out. I think you should call your boss and ask for help."

"No. He's a f**king bastard for what he did to me."

"He's supposed to be a f**king bastard, he's your boss. The boss is supposed to make
the unpopular decisions. That is what you have to do to get that title."

So here I am in front of my computer thinking about what my mother has said to me. Maybe I should call him. I don't know. I am still feeling sh***y about the whole thing. But mom is right. Simply gobbling down gourmet food won't help.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Loser girl

You are fat and ugly and no one loves you.


These words have been on continuous replay in my mind as I look for another job. No word of yet from the office if there has been any openings. I am not holding my breath. I am debating whether to ask for G's help. Part of me really wants to get a job on my own so I can rub it in his face.

I really can't deal with this. What is going to happen to me? I am tired of being a bobbing cork in the water. I want someone to pick me up and put me in a bottle.