Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Sex Madness

A loud crash woke me up this morning at 3 am. Then there was some more banging which came from the upstairs. Usally I call the doorman to complain but I was uncontrollably pissed. Maybe it was becasue my job was pissing off. Maybe its becasue I hadn't been on a date since the ice age but I ran up the stairs ready to scream at someone. I bang on the door and it opens and this really fat girl pops her head out. And before I can rip her head off and crap down her neck, she says "I'm sorry. We just broke the bed."

For some reason I get really calm and walk away. The rest of the night I am laying in bed awake thinking there is a fat girl getting more action than me. Yet, I am so much cuter than she is. I'm lucky she didn't come crashing through the ceiling.

I couldn't sleep so I spent the rest of the night cleaning out the tvio with reruns of the OC and Desperate Houswives.

I had lunch with my parents at Bareny Green Grass. It was crowded as always but Dad is a frequent customre so we got a good table. It was a very pleasant breakfast. Dad asked me how I was doing at the internship. I said I was doing alright. Both of my parents were happy that I was doing something constructive with my life. I am not sure how being an office slave is a constructive but I just wnet along with it. Dad asked what I was thinking of doing after the internship, I told him I wasn't sure as of yet. I expected him to go off but he was cool. He said he hoped I found something so I wouldn't lose momentum.

After breakfast we walked over to my apartment and I narrowly avoided them coming up which I would have freaked since it was a mess but they had to meet some friends.

So what now princess? What do I do after this lovely intership?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are getting sloppy with your tall tales PP...first of all i doubt your "doorman PP" building would then be a walk up since you ran up the stairs to yell at the fat chick...second first if was lunch with the rents and then it changed to breakfast....

Get it together.

8:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

any of the following would be great:

a) go back to the 3rd grade and learn how to spell
b)slit your wrists so the internet doesn't have to be polluted w/such shit anymore
c) a then b

1:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PP, you have received a lot of good and thoughtful advice from people here. I'll sum it up for you: start working on figuring out what you love in this life. What makes you happy? What makes you feel true joy? (I'm not talking about going out and getting drunk, either, or shopping, or other empty pursuits. I'm talking about using your mind and your body in ways that heighten your senses and make you more aware of the world.) Nail that puzzle, and then you can work on doing something with your days. Because once you know what makes you happy, then you can work on figuring out a way to get it. It sounds simple, but a lot of people in the world don't know what they want.

You are young, you have money and a home; you are spared from working to provide a roof over your head. That is a gift, but it's also a burden, because I'm sure you're aware that an inheritance can lead to a purposeless life. (I admire Bill Gates for not wanting his kids to inherit his money and have to work for a living.)

Clear some mental space for yourself to do hard thinking: if you are sincere at this effort, and don't just use it as a way to stave off real life, I guarantee your dad will respect it.

Here is book that you may find helpful: it's called "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience." Check it out; it's definitely worth a read.


7:24 PM  
Blogger Ole said...

No offence, but in my experience any book with a title along the lines of "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience" is for pathetic losers who think Tony Robbins changed their lives, and who are embrassingly unaware of how teeth-grindingly irritating they are.

Don't read a fucking book. Just go out and actually DO something that doesn't involve:

a) nightclubs
b) vacuous friends
c) shopping
d) whining

A tough ask, I know, but possibly worthwhile.

1:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ole, no offense, but critiquing a book you haven't read makes you sound like a moron. Read the book, then feel free to trash it. Otherwise, you're as lazy as you accuse PP of being.

Otherwise, your advice is well taken.

5:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That book has the most moronic title imaginable.

7:05 AM  
Blogger Ole said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:22 AM  
Blogger Ole said...

Without wanting to sound pedantic, I was critiquing the emotional cripples who require self-help books, not the content of the book itself.

"Offence" is the noun you're looking for, I think.

8:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Living truly is a tough ask, PP.

1:54 PM  
Blogger flowersj said...

PP: There's nothing wrong with your life that a couple of hours on the back of my Harley couldn't cure. Let's get those twins out in the country sun.
Slow Movin John

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, both forms of spelling are valid:

n. Chiefly British
Variant of offense.


7:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i can't believe you actually wonder why the fat girl is getting some and you aren't. i don't know her, but i can bet she is a shitload more fun than you are. all you do is whine, complain and bitch. i'd take a fun fatty over that any day.

10:20 AM  

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