Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Your hired

I did it. I pulled it off. It was complete bs but they ate it up and had to swallow. When I walked into the office the receptionist was suprised to see me. I didn't miss a beat and said good morning to her and then went straight to my cube. On the way I saw the other paralegals. We exchanged pleasantaries but it was entirely fake since well all knew what was really going on but I acted like nothing happened.

I went to sit down when one the lawyer who interviewed me asked to speak to me. We went into her office and sat down. She looked at me with this strange look and cut to the chase that she sent me an email I had been terminated because I did not report into work. I acted shocked and said that I called in to say I was sick and I wasn't sure if I was going to be coming in that week. And I did not hear from the office about me being absent so I assumed everything was ok. She began to go into to litigator mode and asked over and over again if I had checked my email and what emails I recieved from work. And why hadn't I called. If I was so sick why was I able to open my email. I told her I checked it once a day but I was in bed most of the time. As for not calling I kept saying that I didn't think it was necessary because I felt my last message mentioned how ill I was.

I kept sticking to my story. I called in the beginning of the week and I did not recieve any emails from the office so I as completely out of the loop. Then I turned it around and asked why she didn't call me. Her response was that the only contact info I left was my email address. I acted really shocked saying that I left my full contact info the first day I started working. She was like we don't have anything on record. I was like there must be something wrong with your records. She got really pissed. She was like there was nothing wrong with the records, you just didn't write your full contact info. And I was like if there was a problem with my contact info why wasn't I told before hand.

This went on for 20 minutes. She kept saying it was my responsibility to contact the office if I was to be absent from work. I said I did. She was like no you didn't. I was like yes I did at the first of the week.

She tried to through curve ball about the emails, saying that according to her computer it stated that I recieved them so I must have known I was fired. I kept standing my ground that I never recieved anything. I knew she was trying to get me to crack but if she had evidence she would have pulled it out already. Lawyer girl, you don't know me. When you lived your life as daddy's personal cross examination punching bag you learn a trick or three. She was right but she had no hard evidence back it up and I sure as hell was not going to help her.

Finally, she gave up. I could see on her face that I wasn't worth her time. She said to me, I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that this was all a mishap and yadaa yadaa yadaa. Then told me that I had to be more responsible. And I shot back I was. I've been really really ill. She got really pissed and said to me that this is unacceptable and that in a professional work enviornment I would be canned. But because of this mishap and the fact they are underhanded she would reinstate me.

I decided to let it go and we shook hands and left it at that. VD. I love you girl.

I have been getting some comments that I wish to address because I think there is a bit of confusion about this whole deal.

I want to get something clear. I do not have a real job. I am 10 dollar an hour an intern. I make a bit more than minummun wage but I am an intern not an employee. Which means I am replaceable.

VD calls internships free temps. Because interns are basically free labor. VD did a ton of them in college and she was basically a temp stuffing envelopes, filing and copying. She told a bunch of stories where some interns were slacking off or pissed off someone on staff and they were gone the next day. It doesn't matter. There is always some other eager beaver who needs experience and connections. In fact VD is in the process of setting up an intern sweatshop for her company since it will save her alot of money.

Um, if you're sick, you need to call in every day that you're sick and let them know that you are not coming in. And they do have a right to request a doctor's note. After 3 days of not coming into work, it's considered job abandonment, and they have every right to terminate you. VD isn't very good at this "HR mode" thingy.

I have never heard of this before. It sounds like being back in school. But if it is for real it probably only applies to people who are employees. Remember, I am an intern. I don't really count. Even though I get paid 10 bucks its nothing compared to the other paralegals salary.

The intern game is not cut and dry like the job game. You get alot more freedom to screw since you are just there for experience and people tend to cut you a ton of slack.

How the hell do you get -- or even apply -- for a job without giving a phone number? Liar.

Biatch, I know some people who have get jobs without even applying. They show up. Do their thing and leave. I am told its called freelance. In the club circuit alot of the gigs are done through email. You are obviously the liar since you don't understand the ways of Manhattan yet you claim to be an expert with your accusations.

I am firing you from my list of frequented sites. You are so full of crap. What company only has your email address??....i mean if you got this lame job through connections i would think they would know how to get a hold of you or at least your family to make sure you were murdered and chopped up into pieces and put in a foot locker before they fired you in an email.

No, biatch. I am firing you. You are forever banned from reading my blog. I don't even know how you got this far reading my blog. The sheer magnitude of my work should have blown out septic tank of crap in your skill. As I have said before, I am an intern. Things slide when it comes to interns. Look at what happened to the most famous intern of all. No one could believe that could have happened but it did. Because she was an intern. No one took her seriously.

Email is like the most common form of communication. People breakup, propose, argue and do business over email. Why wouldn't I be fired over email?

Please keep us posted; I am dying to see how Papa JAP is going to react to this one!

He's not. Because I didn't get fired. And watch what you call my dad or I will beat your ass.

Damn. I feel like such a pimp gangsta bitch. Who wants to mess with the Prada Princess?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This entry made me sad.

So you argued your way back into a job you don't like, aren't good at, don't really want. So what? What have you learned, other than the fact that you are a good bullshitter? Which you knew already, apparently.

The thing about an internship is that it works two ways. Your company gets a source of cheap labor, sure. But you as intern are supposed to be learning something. About the industry you've chosen. About the workplace in general. About yourself and what you want out of life.

Aside from giving you some pocket money you don't need, what is this internship doing for you that you wanted to fight for it so badly?

And now that you have it back, what are you going to do with it?

7:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Look at what happened to the most famous intern of all. No one could believe that could have happened but it did. Because she was an intern. No one took her seriously."

What the fuck are you talking about? What does one have to do with the other?

Christ knows why you're interning at a law firm. On this showing, making an argument and pinning down the details is not your forte.

10:04 AM  
Blogger Ole said...

"You're hired", honey. "You're". Jesus.

And next time you get the urge to type or use the word "like", don't. It doesn't mean anything and it makes you sound stupid. You may or may not be, but give yourself a fighting chance.

10:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh wow Uber Congrats on getting yourself into the ratrace you did nothing but complain about. At the end of your day of manning the copy machine maybe you could cap off your mediocrity with an Extra Tall Sam Adams and the combo appietizer of friend cheese and potato skins at TGI Fridays.

2:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The sheer magnitude of my work should have blown out septic tank of crap in your skill. "
huh? WTF does that mean?

"As I have said before, I am an intern. Things slide when it comes to interns."
Uhhh clearly not the termination policy since you were FIRED in EMAIL no less...they must have really wanted you gone to dig up your email and dump you instead of letting it "slide" that you were sick

2:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i wish i were reading VDs blog instead... can she guest on yours?

8:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any interships I have ever heard of are unpaid. This is a job. $10 an hour may not seem like much, but considering minimum wage is $6.75, it is a bteer paying job than a lot of people have, even people that are supporting families.What do you want to do?
If you want, you can actually show up at this job, act like you care, keep your eyes open and mouth closed, and learn something.
Do you have any career goals at all?If they involve any work in an office, this position is something you can put on your resume.
Otherwise, go find a "real" job-somewhere you will feel valued and happier.

1:01 PM  

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