Tuesday, June 21, 2005

I don't want to be here

I should be doing my internship but I called in telling them I am coming in late. It is so beautiful out it is a crime to be working.

I am thinking of shutting comments down. Some of the stuff that is being written is really starting to piss me off.

I should be used to all of you shouldn't I? I mean it seems everyone is pent up with stress and anger and using me as their personal Paris Hilton.

But I can't. I mean I thought I was used to this but its been hard. I guess seeing my Prof K rattled me pretty badly. I don't think she meant any harm but I felt she was dissappointed in me.

This is not what I saw for myself when I was in college. Here's the deal. In my senior year I did the career thing and sent out my resume. I sent them everywhere I could think off. I thought I was a perfect candidate since I was communications major and I consider myself a specialist in media since I watch a ton of tv and read everything from People to US magazine. But I kept getting rejection emails. Sometimes I thought it was from the same person because they all sounded the same.

I asked VD for help and she hooked me up with an interview at this entertainment magazine show to be a PA. I was totally unprepared. I thought I would be talking about my major and what I wanted to do with news. But just as soon as we shook hands the guy told me to pitch some news stories. I mumbled something about violent video games since I skimmed through a magazine about it in the waiting room. Then he was like how do I feel about them. I said I don't like them. And he was like so you wouldn't do your job you were asked to work on them? I was like no. I would do my job. He was like that's good. He went on saying that personal opinions have no place in news. You put that aside and do your job. He told me a story of how about a PA that was supposed to work on a story about luxury items. The PA was given a camera and was supposed to go help on a shoot with furs being worn by models. It turned out the PA was a animal rights activist and made a total scene at the shoot screaming about how animals are tortured and abused. It caused this huge mess because one of the models started crying and ran out. The PA was fired.

He then asked me what internships I had done in school. I was like none. He was surprised. He was looking at my resume and said that in his words "California is a hotbed of opportunity. I am surprised you weren't able to find at least one internship in LA considering you went to school in Malibu." He went saying that his PAs have at least three internships under their belt and that he had one PA who had done an internship since his senior year in high school. And he is now one of the youngest producers at Fox News.

He then asked me who was Matt Drudge. I was like, is he on weekend update on SNL He looked really pissed at me. He told me it was one of the top internet news wbesites and then he asked me what I read. I told him Us, People and EW. He asked me if I ever read the New York Times or the Wall Street Journal. I was like no. Then he thanked me and that was it.

I never got a rejection letter but I didn't need one since VD screamed at me for screwing up the interview and making her look like an idiot. She couldn't believe I came so unprepared and that did not know what the drudge report was. I know what it is now. I screamed at her for not telling me what to do. She was like I thought you already knew and you never asked. We were so mad at each other and we didn't speak for a week.

That's when I just decided to give up. I did not want to deal with the rejection. It was just too painful. But its kind of weird. I am even more unhappy doing what I am doing now. But if I try this again I know am I going to get my ass kicked.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

that was hands down the worst story i have EVER read. good luck on not being fat, gross, and boring the rest of your life.

8:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have only yourself to blame, though - you really are giving your commentators a gift by writing abjectly pathetic stuff like this.

8:35 AM  
Anonymous DCParalegal said...

PP -
I totally feel for where you are right now in your life. I'm a Paralegal in DC and hate it. Just like you, I'm like floating around just doing this goddamn job for my resume and b/c I can't figure out what else to do with my life. If you figure it all out, let me know.

10:02 AM  
Blogger Ian said...

You could install the free comments from haloscan [ http://www.haloscan.com/ ]; it allows you to moderate comments, block users, and so on. Its free and should install in blogger automatically, if you are so inclined.

10:41 AM  
Anonymous nikki said...

honey, sometimes you make me so mad i could scream... but this is not one of those times. i honestly want to give you a hug after reading this. sounds to me like your biggest problem is lack of self-esteem. you have money, but you aren't comfortable enough in your own skin to make anything out of what you have been given.

take it from me - staying where you are is NEVER going to get better. and you will have to get your ass kicked many times before you finally find what you have been looking for. so get out there and get kicked around a bit. you'll wind up in a better place.

10:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

" I consider myself a specialist in media since I watch a ton of tv and read everything from People to US magazine..."

Great, so you read all those grocery store tabloids. I am glad by reading People and Us magazine, you feel like you know enough about the media.

No wonder you got rejected from all those jobs...

11:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I should be doing my internship but I called in telling them I am coming in late. It is so beautiful out it is a crime to be working."

No wonder nobody wants to hire you. WORK ETHIC, IDIOT!!

What's even funnier is:
" I mean it seems everyone is pent up with stress and anger and using me as their personal Paris Hilton."

Likening yourself to Paris Hilton? The only thing you two have in common is that you both suck. Dream on, loser.

3:22 PM  
Anonymous Pedro said...

Isn't that what sucks about comments? You can't control what other people say, and it's not always nice and happy thoughts that they're offering. Kind of like real life, eh?

8:07 AM  

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