Sunday, February 20, 2005

The new Ole

I am trying to stay positive. But some of these people are starting to get on my nerves. And I know I should ignore this but this beeyotch needs a one way ticket to the smackdown hotel.


I just wasted forty-five minutes of my life reading some of your back entries. I can never get those forty-five minutes back.


As a creative writing major you should be used to wasting your time.

You are a pathetic liar. Obviously, you are stealing bits and pieces of peoples' lives from gossip columns, magazines, and "novels" such as GOSSIP GIRL and THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA. At the very best, you are a scholarship student at Trinity who feels inadequate and unpopular, so you need to feel "cool" on the internet (good job) by posting this fake life. At worst, you are a chunky ninth-grader from Wyoming who dreams of being Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, or someone else "really cool" like that.

Obviously you have been smoking your own used tampons. The place I steal is from my own life, and what I go through everyday I gots alot to steal. Now you can call me a ninth grader from wyoming, you can say I am from the matrix but don't ever call me fat. Of course what I say is fake to you to you. Because you don't get it. Your like those bastards who tried to kill Columbus when he proved the earth was round. You have a flat earth mind that goes with your flat head.


I am a creative writing major and honestly, I have to say that, in my nearly professional opinion, you have the creativity of my Adidas duffel bag.


Nearly professional? What the f**k? That means you are not a professional at all. What are you nearly professional at. Toilet bowl cleaner, douche bag collector.
I am sure people are impressed by your major after they stop laughing at you when you tell them you are a creative writing major. Btw, what correspondence school are you attending? It must be very expensive since the only thing you can afford is the Adidas bag that you wear for pants.


Furthermore, why the hell would you cut out dairy products? It is a proven fact that drinking milk reduces weight around the middle. Trust me: I'm 110 pounds and 5'8. I drink milk like its going out of style.

You are completely right. You are out of style. You may weigh 110 lbs but its probably all on your ass from all dairy. Look at JLO. She eats a wheel of cheedar every morning.

You've also probably tried and failed at Atkins, South Beach, and whatever the hell else. NEWSFLASH: FAD DIETS DO NOT WORK. EATING CORRECTLY AND EXERCISING DOES. Also, if you are really such a "Prada Princess", why are you on Jenny Craig? Shouldn't mum and dad be hiring you private trainers and nutritionists? Or, even more likely, why haven't you joined the "Finger Down Your Throat" club?

Actually I am former member of that club. Its nothing to joke about. I know people who are still struggling with it. Atkins worked for me but I really missed my beard papa and I had to quit. I took Jenny Craig when I was in college. I lost weight but I was in hell. I hate nutritionists because they always tell you waht to do and my last trainer was more interested in taking off my pants rather than my pounds. Which was too bad because she was a really good trainer.

I highly doubt that you are yet pursuing higher education, but I have a feeling that once you do (at whatever podunk excuse for a school accepts you with your fourth-grade writing skills),

Don't need to pursue higher ed and don't want too. I don't want to be those geniuses who spend half their lives studying a dead language no one has heard of and rack up a ton of student loan debt and are forced into working for starbucks because they can't get health insurance.


you will be the girl who is rejected from every sorority and subsequently spends all of your time on The Facebook, listing as friends all of the people in high school who hated you in a last-ditch effort to feel popular.

Sweetie, let's get something clear. I reject sororities they don't reject me. I am person wish they were friends and I am the name that everyone drops because I am the s**t.



You're not impressing anyone. Try being real.

Beeyotch please. I don't need to impress anyone. You can't try to be real you just are. But I guess as a creative writing major you can't tell the differnece.

You bore me. Go quit starbucks and join Ole at Dunkin Doughnuts.

Off to open houses. Let's hope I get lucky.

9 Comments:

Blogger Rod said...

Everyone's a critic, yada yada yada.

If this is the extent of his/her "creative writing" ability, I'm sure he'll never meet Sonny Mehta.

**giggle** Thanks for the laugh, saw you through DanteWoo.


rod
brotha2brotha

3:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PP, what is up with this post? What right do you have to hurl all these ad hominem attacks at a reader who criticizes you? True, that particular comment was pretty ad hominem itself, but that doesn't change the essential fact that you have willingly exposed yourself to criticism by writing a blog. Just because you're a blogger doesn't mean that readers have to like you (and it seems that you have many regular readers who don't), and they have every right to comment. Get over it. But don't lash out like that. It makes you look really, really bad -- petty and snobby and pitiful, as well as (per usual) illiterate.

4:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA......
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......

You almost won some points there, but you completely obliterated any worthwhile insult with, "Don't need to pursue higher ed and don't want too. I don't want to be those geniuses who spend half their lives studying a dead language no one has heard of and rack up a ton of student loan debt and are forced into working for starbucks because they can't get health insurance."

Trust me, sweetie. You're never be one of those geniuses, no matter how hard you try.

"Sweetie, let's get something clear. I reject sororities they don't reject me. I am person wish they were friends and I am the name that everyone drops because I am the s**t. "

How are sororities rejecting you if you didn't go to school?

HAHAHAHAHHAHAA idiot.

4:14 PM  
Anonymous Heather said...

Due to the fact that she mentioned going to college in her entry (that was when she did Jenny Craig, remember?), I would assume that was when sororities rejected her. In your own eloquent words, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA idiot."

By "higher education", I assume Prada Princess meant grad school. Come on now. I'm not saying we don't need nuclear physicists and such, but not everyone needs to be one. In the big picture of life, who the f'ck cares if you went to grad school, or school at all? Oooh, you're an overprivelaged American wasting forty grand of your parents' money on a creative writing degree. Ooh, I'm so impressed with your pursuit of higher learning. Prada Princess talks incessently about shopping, the rest of you talk incessently about school. All of you are narrow minded and self centered-- and so is everyone else in North America. Seriously, there are bigger issues in the world. Don't deem your equally irrelevent life and ambitions any more important.


You're all attacking some girl for her lack of education when you're sitting on the internet critisizing everything she writes like pretentious losers. Sure, I'm sitting on the internet critisizing you, but I'm from Canada. We don't have much else to do up here.

If you don't like what she writes, stop reading it. Or start your own blog and bitch about it when your useless degree lands you some spare time thanks to unemployment.

Get over yourselves. All of you.

Love,

Heather, the equally irrelevent pretentious Canadian

4:38 PM  
Blogger J.Green said...

I just wish you had responded to my comment where I considered you for marriage. I will be in NY for the weekend of March 19, we can get married then if you want. We would make beautiful designer babies I think.

Love Always.

http://applesandbanoonoos.blogspot.com/

5:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

never mind all of this other nonsense-
stop trying to give cheese a bad rap!
overage of ass is not cheese's fault, it's wheat's fault !

9:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prade Princess, are you EVER going to post anything about PRADA? I love Prada, and I want to hear about Prada. What's up with all the DKNY?

4:42 AM  
Blogger Ole said...

I quite like Heather's post, although I'm guessing that suggesting to the writer of this blog that there are "bigger issues in this world" is akin to telling a mollusc that there might be more to life than that there shell. President Bush may not be able to spell "pretzel", but our poor PP probably can't spell "Bush". She certainly can't spell "difference".

But the real gem is "If you don't like what she writes, stop reading it."

Sigh.

Do you people really not get it? The point IS to get yourself wound up at ignorance and crassness. It's fun. Any time I ever wonder that I'm crossing a line in terms of how I see the world and how I treat others, I have a quick look at a site like this one and I'm reassured.

7:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PP,

I'm a first time reader today. Since the first negative comment I read, I was like "Whoa, wait a minute, why are these people even reading what she has to say?"

I would have reacted in the same way. That chick has issues.

2:00 PM  

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