Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Soy un perdedor

Yesterday’s lunch at Morton’s became a boxing match. Dad threw the first punch when he cross-examined me for being late. I told him it wasn’t my fault because of the traffic and my cell phone battery died. He shot me down telling me I should have left earlier. He sliced away saying what if this was a job interview? Being late doesn’t make a good first impression.

I just stared at my napkin not saying anything, wishing I was reading a Cosmo. The waiter who took our order interrupted his cross examination. Than he got call from the office and was talking on his cell giving me room to breathe while stared at the tbales of people eating dead cow. Right on cue the food arrived when finished his call.

Between mouthfuls of steak, shrimp cocktail and creamed spinach we threw verbal punches. I ripped into him with a guilt trip telling him how hurt I felt when he sent that email to me and I was so depressed. He told me he was glad that it had that affect. I could have stabbed him with my steak knife. I told him thank you for turning everyone against me. He shot back saying I didn’t turn anyone against you. That situation is your own making. At this point I was ready to throw the table at him.
He kept asking me what are you going to do with your life?

I was like I wanted to be a rock star but according to your email I am not even qualified to pour coffee. After all, I am such a big loser and I can’t do anything right that since I am a worthless little girl.

When I was done. He sat with cold eyes and quietly said to me that I was not worthless and that he loved me very much and that he wanted to help me. And asked if I wanted it. I was like if it gets everyone off my back, fine.

After he paid the check, I kissed him on the cheek and grabbed a cab while he got his car service..

Oh. The steak was the bomb. Juicy and rare, just the way I like my men.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am juicy and rare. i think you would like me. i like bitchy. i think i would like you.

9:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

O pleeze...

9:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The hilarious part of this post, is not the content, but rather to imagine being at a nearby table expecting to eat lunch and instead hear an obviously disfunctional father/daughter screaming match. I would pay big money to have heard that, it should be a ride at disneyland.

8:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to disagree... Rare men? nah, give me mine well done.

10:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Umm, that would actually be "Soy unA perdedorA" (if you are in fact female).

9:29 PM  
Blogger Ole said...

How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is, to have a thankless child.

8:05 AM  
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