Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life

Almost a a quarter to 11am. I should really go in. I got myself a mixed bag of comments.

You should have taken in a nice LA ****...would have resolved all your illness.

I can see that you must have gotten that advice from your mom. Does she still work at the bunny ranch.

What great friends you have, PP. You're sick as a dog and probably a little delirious, and your slutty friend is hooking up and taking advantage of your brain-addled state. heheh.

Yep. You got that right

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today
I'm late for work again
and even if I'm there, they'll all imply that I might not last the
and then you call me and it's not so bad
it's not so bad and

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life

- Dido

What do you mean, you feel like you're on borrowed time, hun?
When you said that i got a chill up my spine.

Be well, PP.

Listen, I don't mean to scare anyone but it just feels like the clock is ticking and that I need to do something. Part of it is the biological clock. I have at least a couple of years before I pop the kids out. But I feel like I need to get a move on before something bad happens.

PP, you are so young. It doesn't have to be this way. Get off the treadmill, and find something you love to do. It can be a hobby. The definition of an ideal job is one that the employee would do for free if there wasn't any pay. You are in the enviable position of being able to afford to work wherever you want, so you need to figure out what you want. Don't be fabulous, be happy. And the way to be happy is to find out what makes you want to get up in the morning, what makes you feel clean inside, as if you just ate an apple, and do it all the time. You just have to find it. We have faith in you.

That is really nice of you to say that. I am a little confused about working for free but I sort of get it. I guess you are so insanely in love with your job you just don't care what you're paid. I am not at that point yet.

I know you mean well but the problem is that I don't like to getting up in the morning. I mean this internship has been complete hell since I have to be there at 9am. What I really like to do is shop for Oscar Dela Renta handbags and guzzle mojitos with my friends at B8. So far the only job that where you can do that is being a mistress. No. I am not doing that. Of course ever since I saw Pretty Woman as a girl and I always had a fantasy of being a high class call girl who falls in love with one of her johns who ends up sweeping her off her feet and taking her to Europe.

I don't see my position as enviable. I mean I can ditch this internship anytime I want to. In fact I can pretty much drop out of sight. But is that what I want?

What scares me to death is that I choose something I love then 10 years later I realize I do not love it all but its too late to change or do anything. I have met people who are just miserable with their life choices but they can't do anyhting to change since they are too old to do so. I don't want that to happen to me.

Thank you for your faith in me. I just wish I felt the same way.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's a book by Po Bronson called "What Should I Do With My Life?" I haven't read it myself, but I've heard decent things about it. Maybe a book like that would help you figure some things out? Here's the link:


Don't get too concerned with making irrevocable decisions, especially if that causes you to make no decision at all. 1. You're quite young; 2. America is very good about letting people have second chances (and third and fourth and...) and most importantly, 3. You have a cash cushion. Most people cannot start a new career later in life because they are supporting a family, paying a mortgage, or have other financial obligations. If you are fairly careful with your money, you should be able to afford to do what you LOVE to do - rather than what you HAVE to do - and if it turns out to be the wrong thing, try again. Your task right now is to discover what it is that you love to do. Besides partying, which, I promise, is not really fulfilling. It may be fun, but it doesn't feed your soul.

3:25 PM  
Blogger J.Green said...


Come up to Montreal this weekend and party out your thoughts. You can call me your husband if that will make you feel better.


7:41 PM  
Blogger Ole said...

Swept off to Europe...

It's just the same over here as it is there, honey. The only differences are that here the people are thinner, the analegesics have slightly different names, you're marginally less likely to get murdered (depending on which arrondissement or district you're in), and the food is better.

1:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you just need to start looking around pretty vigorously for a new man. although i can't imagine you'd be anyone's trophy (this is where the money comes in). anyway, let's hope that settling down and popping out babies will fulfill you eventually - but i can totally see you succumbing to bovaryism...

7:02 AM  
Blogger Courting Couture said...

Regarding your question about Asian men, those posted series of pictures depicted the indigenous (sp?) people of Taiwan dancing in such a manner that required them to look UP into the loin cloths of their other men. They were not wearing anything beneath their loin clothes. Then they finished with a can-can flourish. The whole scene seemed kinda homoerotic. It was a sparky comment that those pictures emasculated Asian men because it furthers the idea that Asian men are gay or effeminate (sp?). And for that bag, I got it from an Indy store in St. Louis called FiFi's. A good place to shop online for funky stuff like that would be fredflare.com, but I'm sure you know that already.

also - feel better.

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