Thursday, August 17, 2006

Day off

“Dude. You have been watching way too many episodes of CSI. In order to retrieve that data you need a lab and couple of weeks. Considering your deadline, it would be a waste of my time to show up.”

“Mother******. Your time is meaningless to me. My time is the only thing that concerns me and your job is to service my time! How dare you speak to me that way? Do you know who you are? You are a f***ing drone that can be replaced at anytime by some cow worshipper in the land of the downward dog. You should be sucking my a**hole because you are employed. You better get here right now and fix this problem.”

This was my boss yesterday afternoon at 4:30 screaming on the speakerphone at the help desk or as we call them “hurt desk”. At that time our computers crashed and we were in the process of putting the finishing touches on a 100 page report for a very well sports client that was due the first thing the next morning. We usually make backups for the reports but we made some major changes that day in the report and we usually do the backups at the end of the day.

It was college all over again as if we were putting together a term paper for a hardass professor and our computers crashed. The all-nighter consisted of all of us searching for drafts, hardcopy and electric and doing more searches online. I was on bedpan duty and I went through the garbage cans and the recyclable bin to look for discarded copies. I learned too much about about my co-workers. One likes to chew on sunflower seeds, another eats reeses pieces like a fiend and there is someone is obsessed with his gums because of all the toothpicks in his garbage can.

At around 2am we had the whole report completed. The IT guy never showed up. The boss told all of us to take the day off tomorrow since it was going to be pretty light for the next couple of days.

So I am now I am withdrawing from chugging a six pack of Starbucks double shot espressos. I kind of wish I was in work because I am getting completely grossed out by the Jon Bonet Ramsey coverage.

This guy is beyond twisted and I think that a needle in the arm is too good of a punishment for him. I hope he meets the same end as Dahmer.


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